Welcome to Better at Life, the weekly newsletter where I share one simple, actionable idea you can put into practice today to build better habits, sharpen your mindset, and live with more intention.
I’ve noticed that I’m pretty good at giving other people advice. When someone else is stuck, the situation often seems clear:
You should have the conversation.
Stop worrying about that.
Take the opportunity.
Give it more time.
But when it’s my own life, things get messier. Suddenly, there are seventeen variables to consider, and I can overthink a decision that would seem obvious if someone else were making it.
That’s because it’s hard to have perspective when you’re standing in the middle of your own life.
So here’s an experiment I’ve found useful.
Imagine yourself three years from now.
Not twenty. Not some perfect future version of yourself living on a beach with no email. Just you, three years older and a little wiser, with the benefit of knowing how some of today’s decisions turned out.
Now imagine that person could write you a letter.
What would they say?
I call this The Future Self Letter: a simple way to borrow perspective from the person who will eventually live with the choices you’re making today.
Write this down:
Sometimes the best advice comes from the person who has to live with today’s decisions.
This Week’s Action
Take ten minutes and write a short letter from yourself three years in the future.
Start with:
“Here’s what I wish you knew right now…”
Then keep writing. If you get stuck, answer a few questions:
What am I worrying about today that won’t matter?
What should I stop postponing?
What am I doing now that I should keep doing?
Who should I spend more time with?
What decision do I already know I need to make?
What will I wish I had started sooner?
Don’t try to predict exactly what your life will look like. That’s not the point. You’re looking for perspective, not prophecy.
Why This Works
Distance changes how we see problems. Today’s frustrations feel urgent because we’re inside them, while your future self has a wider view.
That perspective helps separate what feels important right now from what will actually matter over time. It can also expose something uncomfortable: sometimes we already know what we should do. We just need enough distance to admit it.
https://chrismullen.org/wp-content/uploads/Newsletter-Image-Number-Template-38.svg12001200Chris Mullenhttps://chrismullen.org/wp-content/uploads/Chris-Mullen-Logo.svgChris Mullen2026-08-23 09:00:082026-08-23 09:00:16🎯 The Future Self Letter
Why boring consistency is more powerful than constant reinvention.
Read time: 4.2 minutes
Welcome to Better at Life, the weekly newsletter where I share one simple, actionable idea you can put into practice today to build better habits, sharpen your mindset, and live with more intention.
I have a habit of wanting to improve things that are already working.
A routine is going well, and I immediately think I should optimize it. A system is working, and I assume there must be a better one. A good week happens, and my instinct is to add something to it.
There’s something satisfying about starting fresh. New plans feel productive, and new systems feel like progress.
But lately, I’ve been appreciating something much less exciting: stability.
The routines you don’t have to think about. The relationships you can count on. The habits that happen without negotiation. The systems that quietly keep working in the background.
None of this feels like a breakthrough.
That’s exactly the point.
I call this The Stability Advantage.
The idea is simple: some of the biggest gains in life don’t come from constant improvement, but from keeping good things working long enough for them to compound.
Write this down:
Not everything that stays the same is stuck. Some things are compounding.
This Week’s Action
Identify three things in your life that are already working.
Maybe it’s a morning routine, a weekly workout schedule, dinner with your family, a savings habit, a focused block of work, or a friendship you consistently make time for.
Now resist the urge to improve them.
Instead, ask: What would it look like to protect this for the next year?
That might mean keeping the time blocked, saying no to something that would interfere, or simply deciding: this works, and I’m leaving it alone.
Sometimes the smartest improvement is protecting what already works.
Why This Works
We tend to notice change and overlook stability, even though many of life’s best outcomes depend on doing relatively ordinary things for a surprisingly long time.
One workout doesn’t change much, but hundreds do. One conversation doesn’t build a relationship, but years of showing up do. One focused morning doesn’t create meaningful work, but a pattern of them can.
The advantage isn’t intensity. It’s staying with something long enough for it to actually compound.
What happens when you stop adding and start removing?
Read time: 3.6 minutes
Welcome to Better at Life, the weekly newsletter where I share one simple, actionable idea you can put into practice today to build better habits, sharpen your mindset, and live with more intention.
Whenever life feels out of balance, my first instinct is usually to add something.
A better routine. A new app. Another habit. A productivity system.
A podcast someone swears will change my life.
For a long time, I assumed improvement meant accumulation.
More knowledge. More goals. More effort. More optimization.
But over the years, I’ve noticed something.
Many of the biggest improvements in my life didn’t come from adding.
They came from removing.
Turning off notifications.
Saying no to a commitment.
Leaving my phone in another room.
Letting go of an expectation that no longer served me.
None of those changes added anything to my life.
They created space.
And sometimes, space is exactly what we need.
I call this The Subtraction Experiment.
A simple reminder that the next breakthrough in your life may come from removing something instead of adding something new.
Write this down:
Growth isn’t always about adding more. Sometimes it’s about carrying less.
This Week’s Action
Choose one thing to remove for the next seven days.
Not forever.
Just as an experiment.
It could be:
unnecessary notifications
checking email first thing in the morning
one recurring commitment
social media after dinner
background television
saying yes before you’ve had time to think
clutter from your workspace
Notice what changes.
Do you feel calmer?
More focused?
More present?
More intentional?
The goal isn’t to prove you can live without it.
The goal is to understand what it’s been costing you.
The direction of your life is shaped by small choices repeated over time.
Read time: 3.8 minutes
Welcome to Better at Life, the weekly newsletter where I share one simple, actionable idea you can put into practice today to build better habits, sharpen your mindset, and live with more intention.
Have you ever looked back and wondered,
“How did I get here?”
Maybe your calendar became so full you stopped making time for the people you care about.
Maybe work slowly replaced hobbies you once loved.
Maybe your phone started filling the quiet moments that used to belong to your thoughts.
None of those changes happened overnight.
They happened gradually.
One small decision at a time.
That’s the thing about drift.
You rarely notice it while it’s happening.
A ship doesn’t end up miles off course because of one dramatic turn.
It gets there because of tiny adjustments that, over time, change its direction.
Our lives work the same way.
We don’t usually wake up burned out.
Disconnected.
Unhealthy.
Or distracted.
We drift there.
I call this The Drift Test.
A simple way to check whether your daily choices are taking you where you actually want to go.
Write this down:
Your future isn’t shaped by today’s intentions. It’s shaped by today’s direction.
This Week’s Action
Choose one area of your life.
Your health.
Your relationships.
Your work.
Your finances.
Then ask yourself one question:
If I kept living exactly like this for the next three years, where would I end up?
Don’t answer based on your hopes.
Answer based on your current habits.
The answer may feel encouraging.
Or uncomfortable.
Either way, it’s valuable.
Because direction matters more than speed.
Why This Works
Our brains naturally focus on today.
Today’s deadline.
Today’s workout.
Today’s meeting.
But meaningful change rarely comes from one day.
It comes from patterns.
The Drift Test zooms out.
Instead of asking whether today was perfect, it asks whether your current trajectory is leading somewhere you actually want to go.
Small course corrections made early are almost always easier than dramatic changes later.
Try This
At the end of the week, look back at your calendar.
Not your intentions.
Your calendar.
It tells the truth about where your time went.
Ask yourself:
If every week looked like this one, would I be proud of where I’d end up?
If the answer is no, don’t overhaul your life.
Adjust the direction.
One degree is enough.
Weekly Reflection
Before you move on from this email, pause for a moment.
Ask yourself:
Where am I drifting without realizing it?
What habit is quietly shaping my future?
What’s one small course correction I can make this week?
Write it down.
Then make the adjustment before the drift becomes your destination.
If this idea feels useful, feel free to pass it along to someone who might need it this week.
You don’t need a completely different life.
Sometimes you just need a slightly different direction.
See you next week — a little better at life.
______
Dr. Chris Mullen
Bring Better at Life to Your Organization
If these ideas resonate, this is also the work I bring into organizations and leadership teams.
I partner with organizations that want clearer thinking, stronger decision-making, and more sustainable performance.
Engagements typically include:
Keynote speaking for conferences and leadership events
Leadership development workshops for teams and managers
Team strategy sessions focused on alignment and execution
For senior leaders seeking deeper application, I also maintain a small executive coaching practice.
https://chrismullen.org/wp-content/uploads/Newsletter-Image-Number-Template-35.svg12001200Chris Mullenhttps://chrismullen.org/wp-content/uploads/Chris-Mullen-Logo.svgChris Mullen2026-07-27 08:01:532026-07-29 12:44:17🎯 The Drift Test
The best decisions come from scheduled conversations with yourself.
Read time: 3.9 minutes
Welcome to Better at Life, the weekly newsletter where I share one simple, actionable idea you can put into practice today to build better habits, sharpen your mindset, and live with more intention.
A few weeks ago, I realized something.
I had spent hours in meetings talking about goals, priorities, budgets, and long-term plans.
We reviewed what was working.
We talked about what needed attention.
We made decisions about where to focus next.
It struck me that we do this naturally at work.
Teams have weekly check-ins.
Companies have quarterly reviews.
Boards meet to discuss the future.
But when it comes to our own lives, many of us just… keep going.
We think about our health while rushing out the door.
Our finances while paying bills.
Our relationships after an argument.
Our careers when we’re already feeling burned out.
The biggest decisions in our lives often happen in the middle of our busiest moments.
That’s backwards.
The most important decisions deserve our clearest thinking.
I call this The Personal Board Meeting.
A recurring appointment where you step out of your daily routine and lead your life instead of simply reacting to it.
Write this down:
If you don’t schedule time to lead your life, you’ll spend most of it reacting to it.
This Week’s Action
Block 30 minutes on your calendar this week.
Treat it like an important meeting.
Because it is.
Bring a notebook.
Silence your phone.
Then review the areas that shape your life.
Health
Relationships
Work
Finances
Personal growth
Fun
For each one, ask yourself three simple questions:
What’s going well?
What’s drifting?
What’s one decision this area needs from me?
Don’t try to solve everything.
Leave the meeting with one meaningful next step.
Why This Works
Most of us don’t lack self-awareness.
We lack dedicated time for reflection.
Without it, life becomes reactive.
Urgent tasks crowd out important ones.
Small problems become bigger because we never paused long enough to notice them.
A regular Personal Board Meeting creates space to think before life forces you to react.
It helps you make intentional decisions while they’re still small.
Try This
Create a recurring appointment on your calendar.
Once a month.
Give it a name you’ll recognize.
“Personal Board Meeting.”
Protect it the same way you would a meeting with your biggest client.
Because no relationship will influence your future more than the one you have with yourself.
Weekly Reflection
Before you move on from this email, pause for a moment.
Ask yourself:
When was the last time I intentionally reviewed my life?
What area has been asking for my attention?
What one decision have I been postponing?
Write it down.
Then schedule your first Personal Board Meeting before the week is over.
If this idea feels useful, feel free to pass it along to someone who might need it this week.
A good life rarely happens by accident.
It grows through small, intentional decisions made over time.
Sometimes all it takes is making time to hear yourself think.
See you next week — a little better at life.
______
Dr. Chris Mullen
Bring Better at Life to Your Organization
If these ideas resonate, this is also the work I bring into organizations and leadership teams.
I partner with organizations that want clearer thinking, stronger decision-making, and more sustainable performance.
Engagements typically include:
Keynote speaking for conferences and leadership events
Leadership development workshops for teams and managers
Team strategy sessions focused on alignment and execution
For senior leaders seeking deeper application, I also maintain a small executive coaching practice.
https://chrismullen.org/wp-content/uploads/Newsletter-Image-Number-Template-34.svg12001200Chris Mullenhttps://chrismullen.org/wp-content/uploads/Chris-Mullen-Logo.svgChris Mullen2026-07-26 10:12:102026-07-26 10:12:10🎯 The Personal Board Meeting
Welcome to Better at Life, the weekly newsletter where I share one simple, actionable idea you can put into practice today to build better habits, sharpen your mindset, and live with more intention.
I caught myself saying something recently that I’ve heard from a lot of people.
“I just need to get caught up.”
It sounds reasonable.
Productive, even.
But then I stopped and asked myself a question.
Caught up to what?
Because every time I cleared my inbox, another wave of emails arrived.
Every time I crossed a few things off my to-do list, a few more took their place.
There was no finish line.
Just an endless cycle of trying to fit more into days that hadn’t gotten any longer.
That’s when I realized something.
Many of us think we have a time management problem.
Or a productivity problem.
But often, we have a capacity problem.
We’ve simply committed to more than one person can sustainably carry.
No new app will fix that.
No morning routine will either.
I call this The Capacity Trap.
The belief that the answer is always to become more efficient, instead of becoming more intentional.
Write this down:
You don’t need to fit more into your life. You need to decide what deserves to stay.
This Week’s Action
Take a look at everything you’re currently carrying.
Projects.
Meetings.
Commitments.
Responsibilities.
Expectations.
Now ask yourself:
If I were designing my life from scratch today, what would I choose to keep?
Be honest.
Not everything deserves a permanent place on your calendar.
Choose one thing to reduce.
One thing to postpone.
Or one thing to say no to.
Creating space isn’t falling behind.
It’s making room for what matters most.
Why This Works
When life feels overwhelming, our instinct is to optimize.
Wake up earlier.
Work faster.
Push harder.
But capacity has limits.
And ignoring those limits usually leads to one of two outcomes:
Burnout.
Or mediocrity.
When everything feels equally important, nothing receives your best attention.
Protecting your capacity allows you to bring more energy to fewer things.
And that almost always produces better results.
Try This
The next time you’re asked to take on something new, don’t immediately ask:
Can I fit this in?
Instead ask:
What will this replace?
Every “yes” occupies space.
Treat your attention like a calendar that’s already valuable.
Because it is.
Weekly Reflection
Before you move on from this email, pause for a moment.
Ask yourself:
Where am I operating beyond my capacity?
What commitment no longer fits this season of life?
What would become possible if I created more space?
Write it down.
Then let go of one thing this week.
If this idea feels useful, feel free to pass it along to someone who might need it this week.
A full calendar isn’t the same as a meaningful life.
Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is make room to breathe.
See you next week — a little better at life.
______
Dr. Chris Mullen
Bring Better at Life to Your Organization
If these ideas resonate, this is also the work I bring into organizations and leadership teams.
I partner with organizations that want clearer thinking, stronger decision-making, and more sustainable performance.
Engagements typically include:
Keynote speaking for conferences and leadership events
Leadership development workshops for teams and managers
Team strategy sessions focused on alignment and execution
For senior leaders seeking deeper application, I also maintain a small executive coaching practice.
Welcome to Better at Life, the weekly newsletter where I share one simple, actionable idea you can put into practice today to build better habits, sharpen your mindset, and live with more intention.
A few years ago, I hit a goal I’d been working toward for a long time.
I remember thinking,
“When I get there, things will feel different.”
I’ll feel accomplished.
More confident.
Like I’ve finally made it.
And for a little while, I did.
Then something interesting happened.
Within a few days, my mind had already moved on.
There was another goal.
Another milestone.
Another finish line somewhere in the distance.
The achievement that had occupied so much of my attention quietly became my new normal.
I don’t think I’m alone in this.
We tell ourselves:
“I’ll be happy when…”
I get the promotion.
Finish the project.
Buy the house.
Lose the weight.
Grow the business.
Then we arrive.
We celebrate.
And before long, we’re chasing the next thing.
Not because ambition is bad.
Because our finish lines have a habit of moving.
I call this The Finish Line Fallacy.
The belief that lasting satisfaction lives just beyond the next achievement.
Write this down:
If happiness always lives at the next finish line, you’ll never catch it.
This Week’s Action
Think about one goal you achieved during the past few years.
Then ask yourself:
How long did that feeling of accomplishment last?
What goal immediately replaced it?
What did I stop appreciating once it became normal?
Now ask a different question:
What in my life today was once something I hoped for?
Maybe it’s your career.
Your family.
Your health.
Your home.
A skill you’ve developed.
Or simply the person you’ve become.
Spend a few minutes appreciating what used to feel far away.
Why This Works
Our brains are remarkably good at adapting.
What once felt extraordinary eventually feels ordinary.
That’s part of being human.
The problem isn’t setting ambitious goals.
The problem is believing they’ll provide lasting fulfillment on their own.
Goals give us direction.
Gratitude gives us perspective.
When you practice both, you stop postponing your happiness until some future version of your life.
You learn to enjoy the journey while still pursuing what’s next.
Try This
Pay attention this week whenever you catch yourself thinking:
“I’ll be happy when…”
Pause.
Then finish the sentence another way.
“I’m looking forward to that…
…and there’s already a lot worth appreciating today.”
The goal doesn’t disappear.
It simply stops carrying the weight of your happiness.
Weekly Reflection
Before you move on from this email, pause for a moment.
Ask yourself:
What finish line have I been chasing?
What in my life today used to feel impossible?
Where have I overlooked progress because I’ve already moved on to the next goal?
Write it down.
Then celebrate a milestone you no longer think about.
If this idea feels useful, feel free to pass it along to someone who might need it this week.
Keep setting ambitious goals.
Just don’t wait until you reach them to enjoy your life.
See you next week — a little better at life.
______
Dr. Chris Mullen
Bring Better at Life to Your Organization
If these ideas resonate, this is also the work I bring into organizations and leadership teams.
I partner with organizations that want clearer thinking, stronger decision-making, and more sustainable performance.
Engagements typically include:
Keynote speaking for conferences and leadership events
Leadership development workshops for teams and managers
Team strategy sessions focused on alignment and execution
For senior leaders seeking deeper application, I also maintain a small executive coaching practice.
https://chrismullen.org/wp-content/uploads/Newsletter-Image-Number-Template-32.svg12001200Chris Mullenhttps://chrismullen.org/wp-content/uploads/Chris-Mullen-Logo.svgChris Mullen2026-07-12 08:13:182026-07-12 08:13:18🎯 The Finish Line Fallacy
What’s making your life harder than it needs to be?
Read time: 3.9 minutes
Welcome to Better at Life, the weekly newsletter where I share one simple, actionable idea you can put into practice today to build better habits, sharpen your mindset, and live with more intention.
A few months ago, I missed a week of this newsletter.
At first, I told myself I just hadn’t managed my time well.
I was busy.
Life got full.
But when I looked more closely, that wasn’t really the problem.
The hardest part wasn’t writing.
It was starting.
Every week, I felt like I needed to begin with a brand-new idea.
A blank page.
A perfect framework.
That pressure created just enough resistance to make, “I’ll work on it tomorrow,” feel reasonable.
So instead of asking,
“Why am I procrastinating?”
I asked a different question.
What’s creating friction?
The answer wasn’t a lack of discipline.
It was my system.
I started keeping a running list of newsletter ideas, observations, and rough outlines throughout the week.
Now, when it’s time to write, I’m not starting from zero.
I’m continuing something that’s already in motion.
That got me thinking.
How many things in our lives feel difficult not because they’re hard…
But because we’ve made them harder than they need to be?
I call this The Friction Audit.
A simple way to identify the small obstacles that quietly stand between you and the life you want.
Write this down:
Before you ask for more discipline, ask what’s creating unnecessary friction.
This Week’s Action
Choose one habit, goal, or routine that’s been harder to stick with than it should be.
Then ask yourself:
What’s making this more difficult than it needs to be?
Look for the little things.
Examples:
your phone is always within reach
your workspace is cluttered
you haven’t decided what matters most today
healthy meals require too much effort
notifications constantly interrupt your focus
your calendar has no time blocked for deep work
you wait until the last minute to begin
Now remove just one source of friction.
Not all of them.
Just one.
Small changes often create surprising momentum.
Why This Works
We like to believe success comes from willpower.
But willpower is expensive.
Good systems are cheaper.
Every unnecessary step, decision, or inconvenience increases the chance you’ll avoid the behavior altogether.
Every bit of friction you remove makes the right choice easier.
That’s why the most consistent people don’t always have more discipline.
They often have fewer obstacles.
Try This
Walk through your day as if you’re seeing it for the first time.
Ask yourself:
Where do I regularly get stuck?
Where do I lose momentum?
Where do I make things harder than they need to be?
Then fix the environment before trying to fix yourself.
It’s often the simpler solution.
Weekly Reflection
Before you move on from this email, pause for a moment.
Ask yourself:
What habit feels harder than it should?
What’s one obstacle I can remove today?
Where have I been blaming myself instead of improving my system?
Write it down.
Then make one small adjustment.
If this idea feels useful, feel free to pass it along to someone who might need it this week.
A better life isn’t always built by pushing harder.
Sometimes it’s built by making the right things easier.
See you next week — a little better at life.
______
Dr. Chris Mullen
Bring Better at Life to Your Organization
If these ideas resonate, this is also the work I bring into organizations and leadership teams.
I partner with organizations that want clearer thinking, stronger decision-making, and more sustainable performance.
Engagements typically include:
Keynote speaking for conferences and leadership events
Leadership development workshops for teams and managers
Team strategy sessions focused on alignment and execution
For senior leaders seeking deeper application, I also maintain a small executive coaching practice.
Welcome to Better at Life, the weekly newsletter where I share one simple, actionable idea you can put into practice today to build better habits, sharpen your mindset, and live with more intention.
I was talking with a friend recently who had just accomplished something most people would be proud of.
A growing career.
A healthy family.
Steady finances.
He had every reason to feel good.
Instead, he said something that stuck with me.
“I still feel like I’m behind.”
Behind who?
He wasn’t sure.
That answer is more common than we think.
Sometimes the reason we never feel like we’re making progress isn’t because we’re failing.
It’s because we’re measuring ourselves against a scorecard we never consciously chose.
Someone else’s career.
Someone else’s income.
Someone else’s pace.
Someone else’s definition of success.
The comparison becomes so automatic that we stop noticing it’s happening.
I call this The Invisible Scorecard.
The hidden set of standards you’re using to decide whether you’re winning or losing.
Write this down:
You can’t feel successful if you’re playing by someone else’s rules.
This Week’s Action
Take ten minutes and write down the areas where you most often feel “behind.”
Maybe it’s:
your career
your finances
your health
your parenting
your relationships
your productivity
Now ask yourself:
Who taught me this was the standard?
Where did this expectation come from?
A parent?
Social media?
Your profession?
Friends?
Culture?
Then ask one more question:
If nobody else could see this part of my life, would I still measure it the same way?
That question has a way of revealing which standards are truly yours.
Why This Works
We all need ways to measure progress.
The problem isn’t having a scorecard.
The problem is using one you never intentionally chose.
When your standards come from comparison, success always moves.
There will always be someone ahead.
Someone earning more.
Doing more.
Posting more.
But when your standards reflect your values, progress becomes clearer.
You stop chasing someone else’s finish line.
You start building your own.
Try This
Choose one area of your life this week and rewrite the scorecard.
Instead of measuring something you can’t fully control, measure something you can.
Instead of:
“I need to be more successful.”
Try:
“I kept the promises I made to myself.”
Instead of:
“I should be further ahead.”
Try:
“I moved forward on what matters.”
Small changes in how you measure your life create big changes in how your life feels.
Weekly Reflection
Before you move on from this email, pause for a moment.
Ask yourself:
What standards am I using to judge my life?
Did I choose them?
Or did I inherit them?
What would success look like if it reflected my values instead of someone else’s expectations?
Write it down.
Then choose a scorecard you’ll actually be proud to live by.
If this idea feels useful, feel free to pass it along to someone who might need it this week.
A fulfilling life isn’t built by winning someone else’s game.
It’s built by defining your own.
See you next week — a little better at life.
______
Dr. Chris Mullen
Bring Better at Life to Your Organization
If these ideas resonate, this is also the work I bring into organizations and leadership teams.
I partner with organizations that want clearer thinking, stronger decision-making, and more sustainable performance.
Engagements typically include:
Keynote speaking for conferences and leadership events
Leadership development workshops for teams and managers
Team strategy sessions focused on alignment and execution
For senior leaders seeking deeper application, I also maintain a small executive coaching practice.
Welcome to Better at Life, the weekly newsletter where I share one simple, actionable idea you can put into practice today to build better habits, sharpen your mindset, and live with more intention.
A few years ago, I was thinking about a goal I wanted to accomplish.
I had a plan.
A timeline.
A vision of how things might look if everything went well.
Then a different question crossed my mind.
Not: “What do I want to happen?”
But: “What happens if I change nothing?”
It was uncomfortable. Because the answer was surprisingly clear.
If I kept making the same choices, following the same routines, and postponing the same decisions, the future would not be dramatically different from the present.
Not worse.
Not better.
Just more of the same.
That’s when I realized something important.
Most of us spend a lot of time imagining our ideal future.
Very few of us spend time examining our default future.
The future we are creating through our current habits, whether we mean to or not.
I call this The Default Future.
A simple way to see where your current trajectory is leading.
Write this down:
Your future is shaped less by your intentions and more by your repeated actions.
This Week’s Action
Choose one area of your life:
health
career
finances
relationships
personal growth
Then ask yourself:
If nothing changes, where will this area be three years from now?
Be honest.
Not pessimistic.
Not optimistic.
Just realistic.
What would happen if your current habits continued?
What would improve?
What would stay the same?
What would slowly decline?
Now ask a second question:
What is one small change that would alter that future?
Not a complete reinvention.
Just a shift in direction.
Small changes compound.
And direction matters more than speed.
Why This Works
Most people think about the future in terms of goals.
The problem is that goals can be inspiring without being predictive.
Your current habits are far more predictive.
The Default Future forces you to look at trajectory.
It helps you see where today’s choices are leading tomorrow’s outcomes.
That awareness creates leverage.
Because once you can see the path you’re on, you can decide whether to stay on it.
Or change it.
Try This
Take five minutes this week and complete these two sentences:
If I keep doing what I’m doing, I will likely…
If I make one meaningful change, I could…
Don’t overthink it.
You’re not trying to predict the future perfectly.
You’re trying to notice the direction you’re headed.
Sometimes a small course correction today prevents a major regret later.
Weekly Reflection
Before you move on from this email, pause for a moment.
Ask yourself:
Where is my current path leading? What future am I creating by default? What small change would create a better trajectory?
Write it down.
Then make one adjustment this week.
If this idea feels useful, feel free to pass it along to someone who might need it this week.
The future rarely arrives all at once.
It arrives one repeated choice at a time.
See you next week — a little better at life.
______
Dr. Chris Mullen
Bring Better at Life to Your Organization
If these ideas resonate, this is also the work I bring into organizations and leadership teams.
I partner with organizations that want clearer thinking, stronger decision-making, and more sustainable performance.
Engagements typically include:
Keynote speaking for conferences and leadership events
Leadership development workshops for teams and managers
Team strategy sessions focused on alignment and execution
For senior leaders seeking deeper application, I also maintain a small executive coaching practice.
🎯 The Future Self Letter
Better at Life NewsletterRead time: 3.9 minutes
Welcome to Better at Life, the weekly newsletter where I share one simple, actionable idea you can put into practice today to build better habits, sharpen your mindset, and live with more intention.
I’ve noticed that I’m pretty good at giving other people advice. When someone else is stuck, the situation often seems clear:
You should have the conversation.
Stop worrying about that.
Take the opportunity.
Give it more time.
But when it’s my own life, things get messier. Suddenly, there are seventeen variables to consider, and I can overthink a decision that would seem obvious if someone else were making it.
That’s because it’s hard to have perspective when you’re standing in the middle of your own life.
So here’s an experiment I’ve found useful.
Imagine yourself three years from now.
Not twenty. Not some perfect future version of yourself living on a beach with no email. Just you, three years older and a little wiser, with the benefit of knowing how some of today’s decisions turned out.
Now imagine that person could write you a letter.
What would they say?
I call this The Future Self Letter: a simple way to borrow perspective from the person who will eventually live with the choices you’re making today.
Write this down:
Sometimes the best advice comes from the person who has to live with today’s decisions.
This Week’s Action
Take ten minutes and write a short letter from yourself three years in the future.
Start with:
“Here’s what I wish you knew right now…”
Then keep writing. If you get stuck, answer a few questions:
What am I worrying about today that won’t matter?
What should I stop postponing?
What am I doing now that I should keep doing?
Who should I spend more time with?
What decision do I already know I need to make?
What will I wish I had started sooner?
Don’t try to predict exactly what your life will look like. That’s not the point. You’re looking for perspective, not prophecy.
Why This Works
Distance changes how we see problems. Today’s frustrations feel urgent because we’re inside them, while your future self has a wider view.
That perspective helps separate what feels important right now from what will actually matter over time. It can also expose something uncomfortable: sometimes we already know what we should do. We just need enough distance to admit it.
Try This
A few weeks ago, we used The Drift Test to ask:
If I keep living exactly like this, where will I end up?
The Future Self Letter flips the question:
If I become the person I want to become, what would that person tell me today?
Then listen to the answer.
Maybe they’d tell you to start, stop, worry less, or enjoy what’s already here.
Weekly Reflection
Before you move on from this email, pause for a moment and ask yourself:
What will matter three years from now?
What probably won’t?
What would my future self thank me for doing this week?
Write it down, then do one thing your future self will be glad you did.
If this idea feels useful, feel free to pass it along to someone who might need it.
You don’t need to know exactly where your life is going, but it helps to occasionally take advice from the person who will eventually get there.
See you next week — a little better at life.
______
Dr. Chris Mullen
Bring Better at Life to Your Organization
If these ideas resonate, this is also the work I bring into organizations and leadership teams.
I partner with organizations that want clearer thinking, stronger decision-making, and more sustainable performance.
Engagements typically include:
For senior leaders seeking deeper application, I also maintain a small executive coaching practice.
🎯 The Stability Advantage
Better at Life NewsletterWhy boring consistency is more powerful than constant reinvention.
Read time: 4.2 minutes
Welcome to Better at Life, the weekly newsletter where I share one simple, actionable idea you can put into practice today to build better habits, sharpen your mindset, and live with more intention.
I have a habit of wanting to improve things that are already working.
A routine is going well, and I immediately think I should optimize it.
A system is working, and I assume there must be a better one.
A good week happens, and my instinct is to add something to it.
There’s something satisfying about starting fresh. New plans feel productive, and new systems feel like progress.
But lately, I’ve been appreciating something much less exciting: stability.
The routines you don’t have to think about. The relationships you can count on. The habits that happen without negotiation. The systems that quietly keep working in the background.
None of this feels like a breakthrough.
That’s exactly the point.
I call this The Stability Advantage.
The idea is simple: some of the biggest gains in life don’t come from constant improvement, but from keeping good things working long enough for them to compound.
Write this down:
Not everything that stays the same is stuck. Some things are compounding.
This Week’s Action
Identify three things in your life that are already working.
Maybe it’s a morning routine, a weekly workout schedule, dinner with your family, a savings habit, a focused block of work, or a friendship you consistently make time for.
Now resist the urge to improve them.
Instead, ask: What would it look like to protect this for the next year?
That might mean keeping the time blocked, saying no to something that would interfere, or simply deciding: this works, and I’m leaving it alone.
Sometimes the smartest improvement is protecting what already works.
Why This Works
We tend to notice change and overlook stability, even though many of life’s best outcomes depend on doing relatively ordinary things for a surprisingly long time.
One workout doesn’t change much, but hundreds do. One conversation doesn’t build a relationship, but years of showing up do. One focused morning doesn’t create meaningful work, but a pattern of them can.
The advantage isn’t intensity. It’s staying with something long enough for it to actually compound.
Try This
Last week, we talked about The Subtraction Experiment and asked what we could remove.
This week, ask the opposite: What should I protect?
Those two questions belong together. Remove what creates noise, and protect what creates stability.
You don’t need to rebuild your life every Monday. Sometimes you just need to keep the good things going.
Weekly Reflection
Before you move on from this email, pause for a moment and ask yourself:
What’s already working in my life?
What have I been tempted to change unnecessarily?
What deserves to be protected instead of improved?
Write it down, then leave one good thing alone this week.
If this idea feels useful, feel free to pass it along to someone who might need it.
A better life isn’t always built through breakthroughs. Sometimes it’s built by doing the right ordinary things for a very long time.
See you next week — a little better at life.
______
Dr. Chris Mullen
Bring Better at Life to Your Organization
If these ideas resonate, this is also the work I bring into organizations and leadership teams.
I partner with organizations that want clearer thinking, stronger decision-making, and more sustainable performance.
Engagements typically include:
For senior leaders seeking deeper application, I also maintain a small executive coaching practice.
🎯 The Subtraction Experiment
Better at Life NewsletterWhat happens when you stop adding and start removing?
Read time: 3.6 minutes
Welcome to Better at Life, the weekly newsletter where I share one simple, actionable idea you can put into practice today to build better habits, sharpen your mindset, and live with more intention.
Whenever life feels out of balance, my first instinct is usually to add something.
A better routine. A new app. Another habit. A productivity system.
A podcast someone swears will change my life.
For a long time, I assumed improvement meant accumulation.
More knowledge. More goals. More effort. More optimization.
But over the years, I’ve noticed something.
Many of the biggest improvements in my life didn’t come from adding.
They came from removing.
Turning off notifications.
Saying no to a commitment.
Leaving my phone in another room.
Letting go of an expectation that no longer served me.
None of those changes added anything to my life.
They created space.
And sometimes, space is exactly what we need.
I call this The Subtraction Experiment.
A simple reminder that the next breakthrough in your life may come from removing something instead of adding something new.
Write this down:
Growth isn’t always about adding more. Sometimes it’s about carrying less.
This Week’s Action
Choose one thing to remove for the next seven days.
Not forever.
Just as an experiment.
It could be:
Notice what changes.
Do you feel calmer?
More focused?
More present?
More intentional?
The goal isn’t to prove you can live without it.
The goal is to understand what it’s been costing you.
Why This Works
A few weeks ago, we talked about The Friction Audit.
That framework asks:
What’s making my life harder than it needs to be?
The Subtraction Experiment is the natural next step.
Once you’ve identified the friction, ask a second question:
Does this need to be managed… or does it simply need to go?
Our brains naturally look for solutions through addition.
A new habit feels like progress.
A new tool feels productive.
But every addition asks something of you.
More attention.
More time.
More decisions.
Subtraction works differently.
It removes noise.
It creates margin.
It gives your existing habits room to work.
Sometimes the most powerful change isn’t introducing something new.
It’s making more space for what already matters.
Try This
Whenever you’re tempted to solve a problem by adding something, pause and ask:
What could I remove instead?
You might be surprised by the answer.
Less can create clarity.
Less can create focus.
Less can create peace.
Weekly Reflection
Before you move on from this email, pause for a moment.
Ask yourself:
What in my life has quietly become unnecessary?
What feels heavier than it needs to?
What would I gain by letting one thing go?
Write it down.
Then spend this week experimenting with less.
If this idea feels useful, feel free to pass it along to someone who might need it this week.
A better life isn’t always built by adding more.
Sometimes it’s built by making room for what matters most.
See you next week — a little better at life.
______
Dr. Chris Mullen
Bring Better at Life to Your Organization
If these ideas resonate, this is also the work I bring into organizations and leadership teams.
I partner with organizations that want clearer thinking, stronger decision-making, and more sustainable performance.
Engagements typically include:
For senior leaders seeking deeper application, I also maintain a small executive coaching practice.
🎯 The Drift Test
Better at Life NewsletterThe direction of your life is shaped by small choices repeated over time.
Read time: 3.8 minutes
Welcome to Better at Life, the weekly newsletter where I share one simple, actionable idea you can put into practice today to build better habits, sharpen your mindset, and live with more intention.
Have you ever looked back and wondered,
“How did I get here?”
Maybe your calendar became so full you stopped making time for the people you care about.
Maybe work slowly replaced hobbies you once loved.
Maybe your phone started filling the quiet moments that used to belong to your thoughts.
None of those changes happened overnight.
They happened gradually.
One small decision at a time.
That’s the thing about drift.
You rarely notice it while it’s happening.
A ship doesn’t end up miles off course because of one dramatic turn.
It gets there because of tiny adjustments that, over time, change its direction.
Our lives work the same way.
We don’t usually wake up burned out.
Disconnected.
Unhealthy.
Or distracted.
We drift there.
I call this The Drift Test.
A simple way to check whether your daily choices are taking you where you actually want to go.
Write this down:
Your future isn’t shaped by today’s intentions. It’s shaped by today’s direction.
This Week’s Action
Choose one area of your life.
Your health.
Your relationships.
Your work.
Your finances.
Then ask yourself one question:
If I kept living exactly like this for the next three years, where would I end up?
Don’t answer based on your hopes.
Answer based on your current habits.
The answer may feel encouraging.
Or uncomfortable.
Either way, it’s valuable.
Because direction matters more than speed.
Why This Works
Our brains naturally focus on today.
Today’s deadline.
Today’s workout.
Today’s meeting.
But meaningful change rarely comes from one day.
It comes from patterns.
The Drift Test zooms out.
Instead of asking whether today was perfect, it asks whether your current trajectory is leading somewhere you actually want to go.
Small course corrections made early are almost always easier than dramatic changes later.
Try This
At the end of the week, look back at your calendar.
Not your intentions.
Your calendar.
It tells the truth about where your time went.
Ask yourself:
If every week looked like this one, would I be proud of where I’d end up?
If the answer is no, don’t overhaul your life.
Adjust the direction.
One degree is enough.
Weekly Reflection
Before you move on from this email, pause for a moment.
Ask yourself:
Where am I drifting without realizing it?
What habit is quietly shaping my future?
What’s one small course correction I can make this week?
Write it down.
Then make the adjustment before the drift becomes your destination.
If this idea feels useful, feel free to pass it along to someone who might need it this week.
You don’t need a completely different life.
Sometimes you just need a slightly different direction.
See you next week — a little better at life.
______
Dr. Chris Mullen
Bring Better at Life to Your Organization
If these ideas resonate, this is also the work I bring into organizations and leadership teams.
I partner with organizations that want clearer thinking, stronger decision-making, and more sustainable performance.
Engagements typically include:
For senior leaders seeking deeper application, I also maintain a small executive coaching practice.
🎯 The Personal Board Meeting
Better at Life NewsletterThe best decisions come from scheduled conversations with yourself.
Read time: 3.9 minutes
Welcome to Better at Life, the weekly newsletter where I share one simple, actionable idea you can put into practice today to build better habits, sharpen your mindset, and live with more intention.
A few weeks ago, I realized something.
I had spent hours in meetings talking about goals, priorities, budgets, and long-term plans.
We reviewed what was working.
We talked about what needed attention.
We made decisions about where to focus next.
It struck me that we do this naturally at work.
Teams have weekly check-ins.
Companies have quarterly reviews.
Boards meet to discuss the future.
But when it comes to our own lives, many of us just… keep going.
We think about our health while rushing out the door.
Our finances while paying bills.
Our relationships after an argument.
Our careers when we’re already feeling burned out.
The biggest decisions in our lives often happen in the middle of our busiest moments.
That’s backwards.
The most important decisions deserve our clearest thinking.
I call this The Personal Board Meeting.
A recurring appointment where you step out of your daily routine and lead your life instead of simply reacting to it.
Write this down:
If you don’t schedule time to lead your life, you’ll spend most of it reacting to it.
This Week’s Action
Block 30 minutes on your calendar this week.
Treat it like an important meeting.
Because it is.
Bring a notebook.
Silence your phone.
Then review the areas that shape your life.
For each one, ask yourself three simple questions:
Don’t try to solve everything.
Leave the meeting with one meaningful next step.
Why This Works
Most of us don’t lack self-awareness.
We lack dedicated time for reflection.
Without it, life becomes reactive.
Urgent tasks crowd out important ones.
Small problems become bigger because we never paused long enough to notice them.
A regular Personal Board Meeting creates space to think before life forces you to react.
It helps you make intentional decisions while they’re still small.
Try This
Create a recurring appointment on your calendar.
Once a month.
Give it a name you’ll recognize.
“Personal Board Meeting.”
Protect it the same way you would a meeting with your biggest client.
Because no relationship will influence your future more than the one you have with yourself.
Weekly Reflection
Before you move on from this email, pause for a moment.
Ask yourself:
When was the last time I intentionally reviewed my life?
What area has been asking for my attention?
What one decision have I been postponing?
Write it down.
Then schedule your first Personal Board Meeting before the week is over.
If this idea feels useful, feel free to pass it along to someone who might need it this week.
A good life rarely happens by accident.
It grows through small, intentional decisions made over time.
Sometimes all it takes is making time to hear yourself think.
See you next week — a little better at life.
______
Dr. Chris Mullen
Bring Better at Life to Your Organization
If these ideas resonate, this is also the work I bring into organizations and leadership teams.
I partner with organizations that want clearer thinking, stronger decision-making, and more sustainable performance.
Engagements typically include:
For senior leaders seeking deeper application, I also maintain a small executive coaching practice.
🎯 The Capacity Trap
Better at Life NewsletterWhy doing more isn’t always the answer.
Read time: 3.8 minutes
Welcome to Better at Life, the weekly newsletter where I share one simple, actionable idea you can put into practice today to build better habits, sharpen your mindset, and live with more intention.
I caught myself saying something recently that I’ve heard from a lot of people.
“I just need to get caught up.”
It sounds reasonable.
Productive, even.
But then I stopped and asked myself a question.
Caught up to what?
Because every time I cleared my inbox, another wave of emails arrived.
Every time I crossed a few things off my to-do list, a few more took their place.
There was no finish line.
Just an endless cycle of trying to fit more into days that hadn’t gotten any longer.
That’s when I realized something.
Many of us think we have a time management problem.
Or a productivity problem.
But often, we have a capacity problem.
We’ve simply committed to more than one person can sustainably carry.
No new app will fix that.
No morning routine will either.
I call this The Capacity Trap.
The belief that the answer is always to become more efficient, instead of becoming more intentional.
Write this down:
You don’t need to fit more into your life. You need to decide what deserves to stay.
This Week’s Action
Take a look at everything you’re currently carrying.
Projects.
Meetings.
Commitments.
Responsibilities.
Expectations.
Now ask yourself:
If I were designing my life from scratch today, what would I choose to keep?
Be honest.
Not everything deserves a permanent place on your calendar.
Choose one thing to reduce.
One thing to postpone.
Or one thing to say no to.
Creating space isn’t falling behind.
It’s making room for what matters most.
Why This Works
When life feels overwhelming, our instinct is to optimize.
Wake up earlier.
Work faster.
Push harder.
But capacity has limits.
And ignoring those limits usually leads to one of two outcomes:
Burnout.
Or mediocrity.
When everything feels equally important, nothing receives your best attention.
Protecting your capacity allows you to bring more energy to fewer things.
And that almost always produces better results.
Try This
The next time you’re asked to take on something new, don’t immediately ask:
Can I fit this in?
Instead ask:
What will this replace?
Every “yes” occupies space.
Treat your attention like a calendar that’s already valuable.
Because it is.
Weekly Reflection
Before you move on from this email, pause for a moment.
Ask yourself:
Where am I operating beyond my capacity?
What commitment no longer fits this season of life?
What would become possible if I created more space?
Write it down.
Then let go of one thing this week.
If this idea feels useful, feel free to pass it along to someone who might need it this week.
A full calendar isn’t the same as a meaningful life.
Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is make room to breathe.
See you next week — a little better at life.
______
Dr. Chris Mullen
Bring Better at Life to Your Organization
If these ideas resonate, this is also the work I bring into organizations and leadership teams.
I partner with organizations that want clearer thinking, stronger decision-making, and more sustainable performance.
Engagements typically include:
For senior leaders seeking deeper application, I also maintain a small executive coaching practice.
🎯 The Finish Line Fallacy
Better at Life NewsletterWhy achievement rarely feels the way you expect.
Read time: 3.7 minutes
Welcome to Better at Life, the weekly newsletter where I share one simple, actionable idea you can put into practice today to build better habits, sharpen your mindset, and live with more intention.
A few years ago, I hit a goal I’d been working toward for a long time.
I remember thinking,
“When I get there, things will feel different.”
I’ll feel accomplished.
More confident.
Like I’ve finally made it.
And for a little while, I did.
Then something interesting happened.
Within a few days, my mind had already moved on.
There was another goal.
Another milestone.
Another finish line somewhere in the distance.
The achievement that had occupied so much of my attention quietly became my new normal.
I don’t think I’m alone in this.
We tell ourselves:
“I’ll be happy when…”
I get the promotion.
Finish the project.
Buy the house.
Lose the weight.
Grow the business.
Then we arrive.
We celebrate.
And before long, we’re chasing the next thing.
Not because ambition is bad.
Because our finish lines have a habit of moving.
I call this The Finish Line Fallacy.
The belief that lasting satisfaction lives just beyond the next achievement.
Write this down:
If happiness always lives at the next finish line, you’ll never catch it.
This Week’s Action
Think about one goal you achieved during the past few years.
Then ask yourself:
Now ask a different question:
What in my life today was once something I hoped for?
Maybe it’s your career.
Your family.
Your health.
Your home.
A skill you’ve developed.
Or simply the person you’ve become.
Spend a few minutes appreciating what used to feel far away.
Why This Works
Our brains are remarkably good at adapting.
What once felt extraordinary eventually feels ordinary.
That’s part of being human.
The problem isn’t setting ambitious goals.
The problem is believing they’ll provide lasting fulfillment on their own.
Goals give us direction.
Gratitude gives us perspective.
When you practice both, you stop postponing your happiness until some future version of your life.
You learn to enjoy the journey while still pursuing what’s next.
Try This
Pay attention this week whenever you catch yourself thinking:
“I’ll be happy when…”
Pause.
Then finish the sentence another way.
“I’m looking forward to that…
…and there’s already a lot worth appreciating today.”
The goal doesn’t disappear.
It simply stops carrying the weight of your happiness.
Weekly Reflection
Before you move on from this email, pause for a moment.
Ask yourself:
What finish line have I been chasing?
What in my life today used to feel impossible?
Where have I overlooked progress because I’ve already moved on to the next goal?
Write it down.
Then celebrate a milestone you no longer think about.
If this idea feels useful, feel free to pass it along to someone who might need it this week.
Keep setting ambitious goals.
Just don’t wait until you reach them to enjoy your life.
See you next week — a little better at life.
______
Dr. Chris Mullen
Bring Better at Life to Your Organization
If these ideas resonate, this is also the work I bring into organizations and leadership teams.
I partner with organizations that want clearer thinking, stronger decision-making, and more sustainable performance.
Engagements typically include:
For senior leaders seeking deeper application, I also maintain a small executive coaching practice.
🎯 The Friction Audit
Better at Life NewsletterWhat’s making your life harder than it needs to be?
Read time: 3.9 minutes
Welcome to Better at Life, the weekly newsletter where I share one simple, actionable idea you can put into practice today to build better habits, sharpen your mindset, and live with more intention.
A few months ago, I missed a week of this newsletter.
At first, I told myself I just hadn’t managed my time well.
I was busy.
Life got full.
But when I looked more closely, that wasn’t really the problem.
The hardest part wasn’t writing.
It was starting.
Every week, I felt like I needed to begin with a brand-new idea.
A blank page.
A perfect framework.
That pressure created just enough resistance to make, “I’ll work on it tomorrow,” feel reasonable.
So instead of asking,
“Why am I procrastinating?”
I asked a different question.
What’s creating friction?
The answer wasn’t a lack of discipline.
It was my system.
I started keeping a running list of newsletter ideas, observations, and rough outlines throughout the week.
Now, when it’s time to write, I’m not starting from zero.
I’m continuing something that’s already in motion.
That got me thinking.
How many things in our lives feel difficult not because they’re hard…
But because we’ve made them harder than they need to be?
I call this The Friction Audit.
A simple way to identify the small obstacles that quietly stand between you and the life you want.
Write this down:
Before you ask for more discipline, ask what’s creating unnecessary friction.
This Week’s Action
Choose one habit, goal, or routine that’s been harder to stick with than it should be.
Then ask yourself:
What’s making this more difficult than it needs to be?
Look for the little things.
Examples:
Now remove just one source of friction.
Not all of them.
Just one.
Small changes often create surprising momentum.
Why This Works
We like to believe success comes from willpower.
But willpower is expensive.
Good systems are cheaper.
Every unnecessary step, decision, or inconvenience increases the chance you’ll avoid the behavior altogether.
Every bit of friction you remove makes the right choice easier.
That’s why the most consistent people don’t always have more discipline.
They often have fewer obstacles.
Try This
Walk through your day as if you’re seeing it for the first time.
Ask yourself:
Where do I regularly get stuck?
Where do I lose momentum?
Where do I make things harder than they need to be?
Then fix the environment before trying to fix yourself.
It’s often the simpler solution.
Weekly Reflection
Before you move on from this email, pause for a moment.
Ask yourself:
What habit feels harder than it should?
What’s one obstacle I can remove today?
Where have I been blaming myself instead of improving my system?
Write it down.
Then make one small adjustment.
If this idea feels useful, feel free to pass it along to someone who might need it this week.
A better life isn’t always built by pushing harder.
Sometimes it’s built by making the right things easier.
See you next week — a little better at life.
______
Dr. Chris Mullen
Bring Better at Life to Your Organization
If these ideas resonate, this is also the work I bring into organizations and leadership teams.
I partner with organizations that want clearer thinking, stronger decision-making, and more sustainable performance.
Engagements typically include:
For senior leaders seeking deeper application, I also maintain a small executive coaching practice.
🎯 The Invisible Scorecard
Better at Life NewsletterThe standards you’re judging yourself by.
Read time: 4.0 minutes
Welcome to Better at Life, the weekly newsletter where I share one simple, actionable idea you can put into practice today to build better habits, sharpen your mindset, and live with more intention.
I was talking with a friend recently who had just accomplished something most people would be proud of.
A growing career.
A healthy family.
Steady finances.
He had every reason to feel good.
Instead, he said something that stuck with me.
“I still feel like I’m behind.”
Behind who?
He wasn’t sure.
That answer is more common than we think.
Sometimes the reason we never feel like we’re making progress isn’t because we’re failing.
It’s because we’re measuring ourselves against a scorecard we never consciously chose.
Someone else’s career.
Someone else’s income.
Someone else’s pace.
Someone else’s definition of success.
The comparison becomes so automatic that we stop noticing it’s happening.
I call this The Invisible Scorecard.
The hidden set of standards you’re using to decide whether you’re winning or losing.
Write this down:
You can’t feel successful if you’re playing by someone else’s rules.
This Week’s Action
Take ten minutes and write down the areas where you most often feel “behind.”
Maybe it’s:
Now ask yourself:
Who taught me this was the standard?
Where did this expectation come from?
A parent?
Social media?
Your profession?
Friends?
Culture?
Then ask one more question:
If nobody else could see this part of my life, would I still measure it the same way?
That question has a way of revealing which standards are truly yours.
Why This Works
We all need ways to measure progress.
The problem isn’t having a scorecard.
The problem is using one you never intentionally chose.
When your standards come from comparison, success always moves.
There will always be someone ahead.
Someone earning more.
Doing more.
Posting more.
But when your standards reflect your values, progress becomes clearer.
You stop chasing someone else’s finish line.
You start building your own.
Try This
Choose one area of your life this week and rewrite the scorecard.
Instead of measuring something you can’t fully control, measure something you can.
Instead of:
“I need to be more successful.”
Try:
“I kept the promises I made to myself.”
Instead of:
“I should be further ahead.”
Try:
“I moved forward on what matters.”
Small changes in how you measure your life create big changes in how your life feels.
Weekly Reflection
Before you move on from this email, pause for a moment.
Ask yourself:
What standards am I using to judge my life?
Did I choose them?
Or did I inherit them?
What would success look like if it reflected my values instead of someone else’s expectations?
Write it down.
Then choose a scorecard you’ll actually be proud to live by.
If this idea feels useful, feel free to pass it along to someone who might need it this week.
A fulfilling life isn’t built by winning someone else’s game.
It’s built by defining your own.
See you next week — a little better at life.
______
Dr. Chris Mullen
Bring Better at Life to Your Organization
If these ideas resonate, this is also the work I bring into organizations and leadership teams.
I partner with organizations that want clearer thinking, stronger decision-making, and more sustainable performance.
Engagements typically include:
For senior leaders seeking deeper application, I also maintain a small executive coaching practice.
🎯 The Default Future
Better at Life NewsletterWhat happens if nothing changes?
Read time: 4.4 minutes
Welcome to Better at Life, the weekly newsletter where I share one simple, actionable idea you can put into practice today to build better habits, sharpen your mindset, and live with more intention.
A few years ago, I was thinking about a goal I wanted to accomplish.
I had a plan.
A timeline.
A vision of how things might look if everything went well.
Then a different question crossed my mind.
Not: “What do I want to happen?”
But: “What happens if I change nothing?”
It was uncomfortable. Because the answer was surprisingly clear.
If I kept making the same choices, following the same routines, and postponing the same decisions, the future would not be dramatically different from the present.
Not worse.
Not better.
Just more of the same.
That’s when I realized something important.
Most of us spend a lot of time imagining our ideal future.
Very few of us spend time examining our default future.
The future we are creating through our current habits, whether we mean to or not.
I call this The Default Future.
A simple way to see where your current trajectory is leading.
Write this down:
Your future is shaped less by your intentions and more by your repeated actions.
This Week’s Action
Choose one area of your life:
Then ask yourself:
If nothing changes, where will this area be three years from now?
Be honest.
Not pessimistic.
Not optimistic.
Just realistic.
What would happen if your current habits continued?
What would improve?
What would stay the same?
What would slowly decline?
Now ask a second question:
What is one small change that would alter that future?
Not a complete reinvention.
Just a shift in direction.
Small changes compound.
And direction matters more than speed.
Why This Works
Most people think about the future in terms of goals.
The problem is that goals can be inspiring without being predictive.
Your current habits are far more predictive.
The Default Future forces you to look at trajectory.
It helps you see where today’s choices are leading tomorrow’s outcomes.
That awareness creates leverage.
Because once you can see the path you’re on, you can decide whether to stay on it.
Or change it.
Try This
Take five minutes this week and complete these two sentences:
If I keep doing what I’m doing, I will likely…
If I make one meaningful change, I could…
Don’t overthink it.
You’re not trying to predict the future perfectly.
You’re trying to notice the direction you’re headed.
Sometimes a small course correction today prevents a major regret later.
Weekly Reflection
Before you move on from this email, pause for a moment.
Ask yourself:
Where is my current path leading?
What future am I creating by default?
What small change would create a better trajectory?
Write it down.
Then make one adjustment this week.
If this idea feels useful, feel free to pass it along to someone who might need it this week.
The future rarely arrives all at once.
It arrives one repeated choice at a time.
See you next week — a little better at life.
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Dr. Chris Mullen
Bring Better at Life to Your Organization
If these ideas resonate, this is also the work I bring into organizations and leadership teams.
I partner with organizations that want clearer thinking, stronger decision-making, and more sustainable performance.
Engagements typically include:
For senior leaders seeking deeper application, I also maintain a small executive coaching practice.