🎯 The Trust Account

Trust is built in small deposits long before you need to make a withdrawal.

Read time: 3.1 minutes

Welcome to Better at Life, the weekly newsletter where I share one simple, actionable idea you can put into practice today to build better habits, sharpen your mindset, and live with more intention.

We tend to notice trust when something goes wrong.

Someone misses a deadline. A friend lets us down. A leader makes a decision we don’t understand. A difficult conversation doesn’t go particularly well.

But the way we respond to those moments usually has less to do with that single interaction than we realize.

Imagine two people make the exact same mistake.

The first person has consistently followed through, communicated honestly, admitted mistakes, and shown up when it mattered. You’re probably willing to give them the benefit of the doubt.

The second person has a history of broken promises, vague communication, and excuses.

Same mistake. Completely different reaction.

The difference is what happened before the mistake.

I think of this as The Trust Account.

Every relationship has one, and every interaction either makes a small deposit or a small withdrawal.

Keeping your word is a deposit. Admitting when you’re wrong is a deposit. Giving someone credit, telling the truth when it’s uncomfortable, and following through when nobody is checking are deposits too.

The individual moments may seem insignificant.

Over time, they add up.

Write this down:

Trust is built in small moments and spent in big ones.

This Week’s Action

Pick one relationship that matters to you. It could be with your spouse, a friend, a colleague, someone you lead, or even your child.

Then do a quick Trust Account Audit.

Ask yourself:

Deposits: What am I doing that strengthens trust?

Withdrawals: What am I doing that quietly weakens it?

Balance: If I needed the benefit of the doubt tomorrow, have I earned it?

That last question is worth sitting with.

We often think about whether we trust other people. It’s less common to ask whether our own behavior makes us easy to trust.

If You Lead Others

Trust becomes especially important when you’re responsible for other people.

There will eventually be a difficult decision, an unpopular change, a missed target, or a moment when you simply get something wrong. In those situations, you may need people to give you the benefit of the doubt.

You can’t suddenly ask for trust because the moment requires it.

The account was funded months or years earlier through the ordinary stuff: keeping commitments, sharing context, admitting mistakes, listening when someone disagrees, giving credit, and making fair decisions even when they’re inconvenient.

You can’t make a large withdrawal from a trust account you’ve never funded.

Why This Works

Last week, The Second Conversation explored the stories we create when information is missing.

Trust influences those stories.

When trust is high, an unanswered message might make us think, “They’re probably busy. They’ll get back to me.”

When trust is low, the same unanswered message can become, “Here we go again.”

Trust doesn’t eliminate mistakes or misunderstandings. It changes how much generosity exists when they happen.

That’s why the small moments matter so much.

Try This

For the next week, stop thinking about trust as something you either have or don’t have. Think about it as something you’re constantly building.

Before making a promise, make sure you can keep it. If you make a mistake, own it quickly. If you appreciate something someone did, tell them.

None of these actions are dramatic.

That’s the point.

Trust is mostly built when nothing dramatic is happening.

Weekly Reflection

Before you move on from this email, pause for a moment and ask yourself:

Where have I built strong trust?

Where have I made more withdrawals than deposits?

What small deposit could I make this week?

And perhaps most importantly:

Am I behaving like someone I would trust?

Write it down, then make one deposit this week.

If this idea feels useful, feel free to pass it along to someone who might need it.

Strong relationships aren’t built in the moments when trust is needed most. They’re built in all the ordinary moments that came before.

See you next week — a little better at life.

______

Dr. Chris Mullen

Bring Better at Life to Your Organization

If these ideas resonate, this is also the work I bring into organizations and leadership teams.

I partner with organizations that want clearer thinking, stronger decision-making, and more sustainable performance.

Engagements typically include:

  • Keynote speaking for conferences and leadership events
  • Leadership development workshops for teams and managers
  • Team strategy sessions focused on alignment and execution

For senior leaders seeking deeper application, I also maintain a small executive coaching practice.

Bring these ideas to your team

 

/by

🎯 The Second Conversation

What was said matters. So does the story you tell yourself afterward.

Read time: 3.2 minutes

Welcome to Better at Life, the weekly newsletter where I share one simple, actionable idea you can put into practice today to build better habits, sharpen your mindset, and live with more intention.

Someone sends you a message:

“Do you have a few minutes to talk?”

Seven words, but somehow your brain writes the next 700. Did I do something wrong? Is there a problem? Why didn’t they just tell me what this is about?

By the time the actual conversation happens, you may have already experienced three imaginary versions of it.

That’s because there are often two conversations happening. The first is the one that actually occurred. The second is the one you have with yourself afterward.

Your boss was unusually quiet in a meeting. Your spouse gave you a short response. A friend hasn’t texted back. Someone sent an email that felt a little colder than usual.

Those are the facts.

Then the second conversation begins: They’re upset with me. I must have done something. They don’t value my opinion. Something is wrong.

Our brains don’t like missing information, so we fill in the gaps. The problem is that we often mistake the story we created for something we actually know.

I call this The Second Conversation. It’s the conversation in your head that happens after the real one ends.

Write this down:

The conversation in your head can create more conflict than the conversation that actually happened.

This Week’s Action

The next time you notice yourself replaying an interaction, separate three things:

1. What happened?

What do I actually know?

2. What story am I telling myself?

What have I assumed?

3. What else could be true?

What’s another reasonable explanation?

Your interpretation may be correct, but it may not be. The goal isn’t to ignore your instincts; it’s to stop treating assumptions like facts.

If You Lead Others

There’s another side to this: sometimes we accidentally create the second conversation for other people.

Imagine sending:

“Do you have a few minutes to talk?”

Then disappearing for two hours. The person on the other end may spend that time trying to work out what the message means, even if you intended nothing serious.

Instead, add context:

“Do you have 10 minutes this afternoon? I’d like your thoughts on the upcoming project. Nothing urgent.”

A few extra words can eliminate a lot of unnecessary uncertainty. The same principle applies elsewhere: give people context when you can, be clear about what you need, and say so if something isn’t urgent.

If someone did good work, don’t make them wonder where they stand. If you need to have a difficult conversation, don’t disguise it with vague language. Clarity is one of the simplest forms of consideration.

Why This Works

Ambiguity creates space, and our brains are very good at filling that space with stories and often not particularly helpful ones.

Clear communication reduces the amount of interpretation required. When we’re on the receiving end, separating facts from assumptions gives us enough distance to respond to what actually happened instead of what we fear happened.

Try This

Last week, Borrowed Expectations asked us to question the rules we’ve inherited. This week, question the stories you’ve invented.

When you catch yourself thinking, “They must think…,” “They probably meant…,” or “I know why they…,” stop and ask:

Do I know that, or did I add that part?

Sometimes that one question is enough.

Weekly Reflection

Before you move on from this email, pause for a moment and ask yourself:

What conversation have I been replaying?

What do I actually know?

What part of the story did I add?

And as a leader, partner, parent, or friend, where could I communicate with a little more clarity?

Write it down. Then close the gap between what was said and what was assumed.

If this idea feels useful, feel free to pass it along to someone who might need it.

We can’t control every story someone tells themselves, but we can communicate clearly enough that they don’t have to write the whole story alone.

See you next week — a little better at life.

______

Dr. Chris Mullen

Bring Better at Life to Your Organization

If these ideas resonate, this is also the work I bring into organizations and leadership teams.

I partner with organizations that want clearer thinking, stronger decision-making, and more sustainable performance.

Engagements typically include:

  • Keynote speaking for conferences and leadership events
  • Leadership development workshops for teams and managers
  • Team strategy sessions focused on alignment and execution

For senior leaders seeking deeper application, I also maintain a small executive coaching practice.

Bring these ideas to your team

 

/by

🎯 Borrowed Expectations

The life rules you never consciously chose.

Read time: 3.1 minutes

Welcome to Better at Life, the weekly newsletter where I share one simple, actionable idea you can put into practice today to build better habits, sharpen your mindset, and live with more intention.

Many people think, there are a surprising number of things I thought I was supposed to have figured out by now: career, money, parenting, what success should look like, and how much I should be accomplishing.

I’m still not sure who set the deadline.

That’s the strange thing about expectations. Some of them are obvious, but others quietly become part of how we think life is supposed to work.

By this age, I should be here.

Someone in my position should be doing this.

A successful person should have that.

A good parent should always…

A good leader would never…

Eventually, we stop questioning where those ideas came from. They become the rules, and then we judge ourselves for not following them.

I call these Borrowed Expectations: standards for our lives that we inherit from family, friends, work, culture, or comparison without ever consciously deciding whether they belong to us.

Write this down:

Not every expectation you carry belongs to you.

This Week’s Action

Think about one area of your life where you regularly feel pressure. It might be your career, money, parenting, relationships, health, or some broader definition of success.

Then finish this sentence:

“By now, I should…”

Write down whatever comes to mind. Don’t edit it or try to make it sound reasonable. The first answer is often the most revealing.

Then ask:

Who decided that?

Maybe the expectation is genuinely yours. If so, keep it.

But maybe it came from your profession, your parents, your peers, social media, or an imaginary timeline you’ve been measuring yourself against for years.

Then ask one more question:

Would I still want this if nobody else knew I had it?

That question can clarify a lot.

Why This Works

Expectations aren’t necessarily bad. They can challenge us, give us direction, and help us grow.

The problem is carrying expectations we never chose. When we do, we can spend years pursuing things that look like success but don’t actually feel meaningful: a bigger title, a certain income, a fuller calendar, or a particular version of family life.

Sometimes the pressure we feel isn’t telling us to work harder.

It’s asking us to reconsider the standard.

Try This

A while back, we talked about The Invisible Scorecard.

That framework asked:

How am I measuring myself?

Borrowed Expectations goes one layer deeper:

Who decided this was worth measuring in the first place?

This week, notice whenever the word “should” appears in your thinking.

I should be further along.

I should be doing more.

I should have figured this out already.

When you notice it, pause and ask:

Is this expectation chosen or borrowed?

You don’t have to reject every expectation. Just make sure the ones shaping your life are ones you actually want to keep.

Weekly Reflection

Before you move on from this email, pause for a moment and ask yourself:

Where do I feel like I’m behind?

What expectation is creating that feeling?

Did I consciously choose it?

What would I want if nobody else were watching?

Write it down.

Then give yourself permission to return one expectation that was never yours to carry.

If this idea feels useful, feel free to pass it along to someone who might need it.

A better life isn’t built by meeting every expectation placed on you. It’s built by choosing which ones deserve to shape you.

See you next week — a little better at life.

______

Dr. Chris Mullen

Bring Better at Life to Your Organization

If these ideas resonate, this is also the work I bring into organizations and leadership teams.

I partner with organizations that want clearer thinking, stronger decision-making, and more sustainable performance.

Engagements typically include:

  • Keynote speaking for conferences and leadership events
  • Leadership development workshops for teams and managers
  • Team strategy sessions focused on alignment and execution

For senior leaders seeking deeper application, I also maintain a small executive coaching practice.

Bring these ideas to your team

 

/by

🎯 The Future Self Letter

Read time: 3.9 minutes

Welcome to Better at Life, the weekly newsletter where I share one simple, actionable idea you can put into practice today to build better habits, sharpen your mindset, and live with more intention.

I’ve noticed that I’m pretty good at giving other people advice. When someone else is stuck, the situation often seems clear:

You should have the conversation.

Stop worrying about that.

Take the opportunity.

Give it more time.

But when it’s my own life, things get messier. Suddenly, there are seventeen variables to consider, and I can overthink a decision that would seem obvious if someone else were making it.

That’s because it’s hard to have perspective when you’re standing in the middle of your own life.

So here’s an experiment I’ve found useful.

Imagine yourself three years from now.

Not twenty. Not some perfect future version of yourself living on a beach with no email. Just you, three years older and a little wiser, with the benefit of knowing how some of today’s decisions turned out.

Now imagine that person could write you a letter.

What would they say?

I call this The Future Self Letter: a simple way to borrow perspective from the person who will eventually live with the choices you’re making today.

Write this down:

Sometimes the best advice comes from the person who has to live with today’s decisions.

This Week’s Action

Take ten minutes and write a short letter from yourself three years in the future.

Start with:

“Here’s what I wish you knew right now…”

Then keep writing. If you get stuck, answer a few questions:

What am I worrying about today that won’t matter?

What should I stop postponing?

What am I doing now that I should keep doing?

Who should I spend more time with?

What decision do I already know I need to make?

What will I wish I had started sooner?

Don’t try to predict exactly what your life will look like. That’s not the point. You’re looking for perspective, not prophecy.

Why This Works

Distance changes how we see problems. Today’s frustrations feel urgent because we’re inside them, while your future self has a wider view.

That perspective helps separate what feels important right now from what will actually matter over time. It can also expose something uncomfortable: sometimes we already know what we should do. We just need enough distance to admit it.

Try This

A few weeks ago, we used The Drift Test to ask:

If I keep living exactly like this, where will I end up?

The Future Self Letter flips the question:

If I become the person I want to become, what would that person tell me today?

Then listen to the answer.

Maybe they’d tell you to start, stop, worry less, or enjoy what’s already here.

Weekly Reflection

Before you move on from this email, pause for a moment and ask yourself:

What will matter three years from now?

What probably won’t?

What would my future self thank me for doing this week?

Write it down, then do one thing your future self will be glad you did.

If this idea feels useful, feel free to pass it along to someone who might need it.

You don’t need to know exactly where your life is going, but it helps to occasionally take advice from the person who will eventually get there.

See you next week — a little better at life.

______

Dr. Chris Mullen

Bring Better at Life to Your Organization

If these ideas resonate, this is also the work I bring into organizations and leadership teams.

I partner with organizations that want clearer thinking, stronger decision-making, and more sustainable performance.

Engagements typically include:

  • Keynote speaking for conferences and leadership events
  • Leadership development workshops for teams and managers
  • Team strategy sessions focused on alignment and execution

For senior leaders seeking deeper application, I also maintain a small executive coaching practice.

Bring these ideas to your team

 

/by

🎯 The Stability Advantage

Why boring consistency is more powerful than constant reinvention.


Read time: 4.2 minutes

Welcome to Better at Life, the weekly newsletter where I share one simple, actionable idea you can put into practice today to build better habits, sharpen your mindset, and live with more intention.

I have a habit of wanting to improve things that are already working.

A routine is going well, and I immediately think I should optimize it.
A system is working, and I assume there must be a better one.
A good week happens, and my instinct is to add something to it.

There’s something satisfying about starting fresh. New plans feel productive, and new systems feel like progress.

But lately, I’ve been appreciating something much less exciting: stability.

The routines you don’t have to think about. The relationships you can count on. The habits that happen without negotiation. The systems that quietly keep working in the background.

None of this feels like a breakthrough.

That’s exactly the point.

I call this The Stability Advantage.

The idea is simple: some of the biggest gains in life don’t come from constant improvement, but from keeping good things working long enough for them to compound.

Write this down:

Not everything that stays the same is stuck. Some things are compounding.

This Week’s Action

Identify three things in your life that are already working.

Maybe it’s a morning routine, a weekly workout schedule, dinner with your family, a savings habit, a focused block of work, or a friendship you consistently make time for.

Now resist the urge to improve them.

Instead, ask: What would it look like to protect this for the next year?

That might mean keeping the time blocked, saying no to something that would interfere, or simply deciding: this works, and I’m leaving it alone.

Sometimes the smartest improvement is protecting what already works.

Why This Works

We tend to notice change and overlook stability, even though many of life’s best outcomes depend on doing relatively ordinary things for a surprisingly long time.

One workout doesn’t change much, but hundreds do. One conversation doesn’t build a relationship, but years of showing up do. One focused morning doesn’t create meaningful work, but a pattern of them can.

The advantage isn’t intensity. It’s staying with something long enough for it to actually compound.

Try This

Last week, we talked about The Subtraction Experiment and asked what we could remove.

This week, ask the opposite: What should I protect?

Those two questions belong together. Remove what creates noise, and protect what creates stability.

You don’t need to rebuild your life every Monday. Sometimes you just need to keep the good things going.

Weekly Reflection

Before you move on from this email, pause for a moment and ask yourself:

What’s already working in my life?
What have I been tempted to change unnecessarily?
What deserves to be protected instead of improved?

Write it down, then leave one good thing alone this week.

If this idea feels useful, feel free to pass it along to someone who might need it.

A better life isn’t always built through breakthroughs. Sometimes it’s built by doing the right ordinary things for a very long time.

See you next week — a little better at life.

______

Dr. Chris Mullen

Bring Better at Life to Your Organization

If these ideas resonate, this is also the work I bring into organizations and leadership teams.

I partner with organizations that want clearer thinking, stronger decision-making, and more sustainable performance.

Engagements typically include:

  • Keynote speaking for conferences and leadership events
  • Leadership development workshops for teams and managers
  • Team strategy sessions focused on alignment and execution

For senior leaders seeking deeper application, I also maintain a small executive coaching practice.

Bring these ideas to your team

 

/by

🎯 The Subtraction Experiment

What happens when you stop adding and start removing?

Read time: 3.6 minutes

Welcome to Better at Life, the weekly newsletter where I share one simple, actionable idea you can put into practice today to build better habits, sharpen your mindset, and live with more intention.

Whenever life feels out of balance, my first instinct is usually to add something.

A better routine. A new app. Another habit. A productivity system.

A podcast someone swears will change my life.

For a long time, I assumed improvement meant accumulation.

More knowledge. More goals. More effort. More optimization.

But over the years, I’ve noticed something.

Many of the biggest improvements in my life didn’t come from adding.

They came from removing.

Turning off notifications.

Saying no to a commitment.

Leaving my phone in another room.

Letting go of an expectation that no longer served me.

None of those changes added anything to my life.

They created space.

And sometimes, space is exactly what we need.

I call this The Subtraction Experiment.

A simple reminder that the next breakthrough in your life may come from removing something instead of adding something new.


Write this down:

Growth isn’t always about adding more. Sometimes it’s about carrying less.

This Week’s Action

Choose one thing to remove for the next seven days.

Not forever.

Just as an experiment.

It could be:

  • unnecessary notifications
  • checking email first thing in the morning
  • one recurring commitment
  • social media after dinner
  • background television
  • saying yes before you’ve had time to think
  • clutter from your workspace

Notice what changes.

Do you feel calmer?

More focused?

More present?

More intentional?

The goal isn’t to prove you can live without it.

The goal is to understand what it’s been costing you.

Why This Works

A few weeks ago, we talked about The Friction Audit.

That framework asks:

What’s making my life harder than it needs to be?

The Subtraction Experiment is the natural next step.

Once you’ve identified the friction, ask a second question:

Does this need to be managed… or does it simply need to go?

Our brains naturally look for solutions through addition.

A new habit feels like progress.

A new tool feels productive.

But every addition asks something of you.

More attention.

More time.

More decisions.

Subtraction works differently.

It removes noise.

It creates margin.

It gives your existing habits room to work.

Sometimes the most powerful change isn’t introducing something new.

It’s making more space for what already matters.

Try This

Whenever you’re tempted to solve a problem by adding something, pause and ask:

What could I remove instead?

You might be surprised by the answer.

Less can create clarity.

Less can create focus.

Less can create peace.

Weekly Reflection

Before you move on from this email, pause for a moment.

Ask yourself:

What in my life has quietly become unnecessary?

What feels heavier than it needs to?

What would I gain by letting one thing go?

Write it down.

Then spend this week experimenting with less.

If this idea feels useful, feel free to pass it along to someone who might need it this week.

A better life isn’t always built by adding more.

Sometimes it’s built by making room for what matters most.

See you next week — a little better at life.

______

Dr. Chris Mullen

Bring Better at Life to Your Organization

If these ideas resonate, this is also the work I bring into organizations and leadership teams.

I partner with organizations that want clearer thinking, stronger decision-making, and more sustainable performance.

Engagements typically include:

  • Keynote speaking for conferences and leadership events
  • Leadership development workshops for teams and managers
  • Team strategy sessions focused on alignment and execution

For senior leaders seeking deeper application, I also maintain a small executive coaching practice.

Bring these ideas to your team

 

/by

🎯 The Drift Test

The direction of your life is shaped by small choices repeated over time.

Read time: 3.8 minutes

Welcome to Better at Life, the weekly newsletter where I share one simple, actionable idea you can put into practice today to build better habits, sharpen your mindset, and live with more intention.

Have you ever looked back and wondered,

“How did I get here?”

Maybe your calendar became so full you stopped making time for the people you care about.

Maybe work slowly replaced hobbies you once loved.

Maybe your phone started filling the quiet moments that used to belong to your thoughts.

None of those changes happened overnight.

They happened gradually.

One small decision at a time.

That’s the thing about drift.

You rarely notice it while it’s happening.

A ship doesn’t end up miles off course because of one dramatic turn.

It gets there because of tiny adjustments that, over time, change its direction.

Our lives work the same way.

We don’t usually wake up burned out.

Disconnected.

Unhealthy.

Or distracted.

We drift there.

I call this The Drift Test.

A simple way to check whether your daily choices are taking you where you actually want to go.


Write this down:

Your future isn’t shaped by today’s intentions. It’s shaped by today’s direction.

This Week’s Action

Choose one area of your life.

Your health.

Your relationships.

Your work.

Your finances.

Then ask yourself one question:

If I kept living exactly like this for the next three years, where would I end up?

Don’t answer based on your hopes.

Answer based on your current habits.

The answer may feel encouraging.

Or uncomfortable.

Either way, it’s valuable.

Because direction matters more than speed.

Why This Works

Our brains naturally focus on today.

Today’s deadline.

Today’s workout.

Today’s meeting.

But meaningful change rarely comes from one day.

It comes from patterns.

The Drift Test zooms out.

Instead of asking whether today was perfect, it asks whether your current trajectory is leading somewhere you actually want to go.

Small course corrections made early are almost always easier than dramatic changes later.

Try This

At the end of the week, look back at your calendar.

Not your intentions.

Your calendar.

It tells the truth about where your time went.

Ask yourself:

If every week looked like this one, would I be proud of where I’d end up?

If the answer is no, don’t overhaul your life.

Adjust the direction.

One degree is enough.

Weekly Reflection

Before you move on from this email, pause for a moment.

Ask yourself:

Where am I drifting without realizing it?

What habit is quietly shaping my future?

What’s one small course correction I can make this week?

Write it down.

Then make the adjustment before the drift becomes your destination.

If this idea feels useful, feel free to pass it along to someone who might need it this week.

You don’t need a completely different life.

Sometimes you just need a slightly different direction.

See you next week — a little better at life.

______

Dr. Chris Mullen

Bring Better at Life to Your Organization

If these ideas resonate, this is also the work I bring into organizations and leadership teams.

I partner with organizations that want clearer thinking, stronger decision-making, and more sustainable performance.

Engagements typically include:

  • Keynote speaking for conferences and leadership events
  • Leadership development workshops for teams and managers
  • Team strategy sessions focused on alignment and execution

For senior leaders seeking deeper application, I also maintain a small executive coaching practice.

Bring these ideas to your team

 

/by

🎯 The Personal Board Meeting

The best decisions come from scheduled conversations with yourself.

Read time: 3.9 minutes

Welcome to Better at Life, the weekly newsletter where I share one simple, actionable idea you can put into practice today to build better habits, sharpen your mindset, and live with more intention.

A few weeks ago, I realized something.

I had spent hours in meetings talking about goals, priorities, budgets, and long-term plans.

We reviewed what was working.

We talked about what needed attention.

We made decisions about where to focus next.

It struck me that we do this naturally at work.

Teams have weekly check-ins.

Companies have quarterly reviews.

Boards meet to discuss the future.

But when it comes to our own lives, many of us just… keep going.

We think about our health while rushing out the door.

Our finances while paying bills.

Our relationships after an argument.

Our careers when we’re already feeling burned out.

The biggest decisions in our lives often happen in the middle of our busiest moments.

That’s backwards.

The most important decisions deserve our clearest thinking.

I call this The Personal Board Meeting.

A recurring appointment where you step out of your daily routine and lead your life instead of simply reacting to it.


Write this down:

If you don’t schedule time to lead your life, you’ll spend most of it reacting to it.

This Week’s Action

Block 30 minutes on your calendar this week.

Treat it like an important meeting.

Because it is.

Bring a notebook.

Silence your phone.

Then review the areas that shape your life.

  • Health
  • Relationships
  • Work
  • Finances
  • Personal growth
  • Fun

For each one, ask yourself three simple questions:

  • What’s going well?
  • What’s drifting?
  • What’s one decision this area needs from me?

Don’t try to solve everything.

Leave the meeting with one meaningful next step.

Why This Works

Most of us don’t lack self-awareness.

We lack dedicated time for reflection.

Without it, life becomes reactive.

Urgent tasks crowd out important ones.

Small problems become bigger because we never paused long enough to notice them.

A regular Personal Board Meeting creates space to think before life forces you to react.

It helps you make intentional decisions while they’re still small.

Try This

Create a recurring appointment on your calendar.

Once a month.

Give it a name you’ll recognize.

“Personal Board Meeting.”

Protect it the same way you would a meeting with your biggest client.

Because no relationship will influence your future more than the one you have with yourself.

Weekly Reflection

Before you move on from this email, pause for a moment.

Ask yourself:

When was the last time I intentionally reviewed my life?

What area has been asking for my attention?

What one decision have I been postponing?

Write it down.

Then schedule your first Personal Board Meeting before the week is over.

If this idea feels useful, feel free to pass it along to someone who might need it this week.

A good life rarely happens by accident.

It grows through small, intentional decisions made over time.

Sometimes all it takes is making time to hear yourself think.

See you next week — a little better at life.

______

Dr. Chris Mullen

Bring Better at Life to Your Organization

If these ideas resonate, this is also the work I bring into organizations and leadership teams.

I partner with organizations that want clearer thinking, stronger decision-making, and more sustainable performance.

Engagements typically include:

  • Keynote speaking for conferences and leadership events
  • Leadership development workshops for teams and managers
  • Team strategy sessions focused on alignment and execution

For senior leaders seeking deeper application, I also maintain a small executive coaching practice.

Bring these ideas to your team

 

/by

🎯 The Capacity Trap

Why doing more isn’t always the answer.

Read time: 3.8 minutes

Welcome to Better at Life, the weekly newsletter where I share one simple, actionable idea you can put into practice today to build better habits, sharpen your mindset, and live with more intention.

I caught myself saying something recently that I’ve heard from a lot of people.

“I just need to get caught up.”

It sounds reasonable.

Productive, even.

But then I stopped and asked myself a question.

Caught up to what?

Because every time I cleared my inbox, another wave of emails arrived.

Every time I crossed a few things off my to-do list, a few more took their place.

There was no finish line.

Just an endless cycle of trying to fit more into days that hadn’t gotten any longer.

That’s when I realized something.

Many of us think we have a time management problem.

Or a productivity problem.

But often, we have a capacity problem.

We’ve simply committed to more than one person can sustainably carry.

No new app will fix that.

No morning routine will either.

I call this The Capacity Trap.

The belief that the answer is always to become more efficient, instead of becoming more intentional.


Write this down:

You don’t need to fit more into your life. You need to decide what deserves to stay.

This Week’s Action

Take a look at everything you’re currently carrying.

Projects.

Meetings.

Commitments.

Responsibilities.

Expectations.

Now ask yourself:

If I were designing my life from scratch today, what would I choose to keep?

Be honest.

Not everything deserves a permanent place on your calendar.

Choose one thing to reduce.

One thing to postpone.

Or one thing to say no to.

Creating space isn’t falling behind.

It’s making room for what matters most.

Why This Works

When life feels overwhelming, our instinct is to optimize.

Wake up earlier.

Work faster.

Push harder.

But capacity has limits.

And ignoring those limits usually leads to one of two outcomes:

Burnout.

Or mediocrity.

When everything feels equally important, nothing receives your best attention.

Protecting your capacity allows you to bring more energy to fewer things.

And that almost always produces better results.

Try This

The next time you’re asked to take on something new, don’t immediately ask:

Can I fit this in?

Instead ask:

What will this replace?

Every “yes” occupies space.

Treat your attention like a calendar that’s already valuable.

Because it is.

Weekly Reflection

Before you move on from this email, pause for a moment.

Ask yourself:

Where am I operating beyond my capacity?

What commitment no longer fits this season of life?

What would become possible if I created more space?

Write it down.

Then let go of one thing this week.

If this idea feels useful, feel free to pass it along to someone who might need it this week.

A full calendar isn’t the same as a meaningful life.

Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is make room to breathe.

See you next week — a little better at life.

______

Dr. Chris Mullen

Bring Better at Life to Your Organization

If these ideas resonate, this is also the work I bring into organizations and leadership teams.

I partner with organizations that want clearer thinking, stronger decision-making, and more sustainable performance.

Engagements typically include:

  • Keynote speaking for conferences and leadership events
  • Leadership development workshops for teams and managers
  • Team strategy sessions focused on alignment and execution

For senior leaders seeking deeper application, I also maintain a small executive coaching practice.

Bring these ideas to your team

 

/by

🎯 The Finish Line Fallacy

Why achievement rarely feels the way you expect.

Read time: 3.7 minutes

Welcome to Better at Life, the weekly newsletter where I share one simple, actionable idea you can put into practice today to build better habits, sharpen your mindset, and live with more intention.

A few years ago, I hit a goal I’d been working toward for a long time.

I remember thinking,

“When I get there, things will feel different.”

I’ll feel accomplished.

More confident.

Like I’ve finally made it.

And for a little while, I did.

Then something interesting happened.

Within a few days, my mind had already moved on.

There was another goal.

Another milestone.

Another finish line somewhere in the distance.

The achievement that had occupied so much of my attention quietly became my new normal.

I don’t think I’m alone in this.

We tell ourselves:

“I’ll be happy when…”

I get the promotion.

Finish the project.

Buy the house.

Lose the weight.

Grow the business.

Then we arrive.

We celebrate.

And before long, we’re chasing the next thing.

Not because ambition is bad.

Because our finish lines have a habit of moving.

I call this The Finish Line Fallacy.

The belief that lasting satisfaction lives just beyond the next achievement.


Write this down:

If happiness always lives at the next finish line, you’ll never catch it.

This Week’s Action

Think about one goal you achieved during the past few years.

Then ask yourself:

  • How long did that feeling of accomplishment last?
  • What goal immediately replaced it?
  • What did I stop appreciating once it became normal?

Now ask a different question:

What in my life today was once something I hoped for?

Maybe it’s your career.

Your family.

Your health.

Your home.

A skill you’ve developed.

Or simply the person you’ve become.

Spend a few minutes appreciating what used to feel far away.

Why This Works

Our brains are remarkably good at adapting.

What once felt extraordinary eventually feels ordinary.

That’s part of being human.

The problem isn’t setting ambitious goals.

The problem is believing they’ll provide lasting fulfillment on their own.

Goals give us direction.

Gratitude gives us perspective.

When you practice both, you stop postponing your happiness until some future version of your life.

You learn to enjoy the journey while still pursuing what’s next.

Try This

Pay attention this week whenever you catch yourself thinking:

“I’ll be happy when…”

Pause.

Then finish the sentence another way.

“I’m looking forward to that…

…and there’s already a lot worth appreciating today.”

The goal doesn’t disappear.

It simply stops carrying the weight of your happiness.

Weekly Reflection

Before you move on from this email, pause for a moment.

Ask yourself:

What finish line have I been chasing?

What in my life today used to feel impossible?

Where have I overlooked progress because I’ve already moved on to the next goal?

Write it down.

Then celebrate a milestone you no longer think about.

If this idea feels useful, feel free to pass it along to someone who might need it this week.

Keep setting ambitious goals.

Just don’t wait until you reach them to enjoy your life.

See you next week — a little better at life.

______

Dr. Chris Mullen

Bring Better at Life to Your Organization

If these ideas resonate, this is also the work I bring into organizations and leadership teams.

I partner with organizations that want clearer thinking, stronger decision-making, and more sustainable performance.

Engagements typically include:

  • Keynote speaking for conferences and leadership events
  • Leadership development workshops for teams and managers
  • Team strategy sessions focused on alignment and execution

For senior leaders seeking deeper application, I also maintain a small executive coaching practice.

Bring these ideas to your team

 

/by