Welcome to Better at Life, the weekly newsletter where I share one simple, actionable idea you can put into practice today to build better habits, sharpen your mindset, and live with more intention.
Every December, I convince myself that Future Me will magically appear and finish everything I avoided all year.
Future Me never shows up.
Present Me, however, is very available and slightly annoyed.
So this week, I tried a different experiment: finish one thing.
Not everything.
Not a big thing.
Just one thing I kept tripping over mentally.
What surprised me is how quickly one tiny finish changed my entire mood.
It made me feel capable again.
That is the energy I want for you.
There is a special kind of confidence that comes from completing something you’ve been quietly dodging.
It does not matter if the thing is glamorous.
Sometimes it is the awkward email, the small decision, or the task that has been squatting in your brain like it owns the place. When you finish one of those, your nervous system stands up a little straighter.
You remember you can do hard things.
Your brain starts trusting you again.
This Week’s Action: The Year-End Win
Choose one thing you can finish before the year ends.
Not a whole project. Not a reinvention. Just one item that meets two criteria:
It will take less than ninety minutes.
Finishing it will make you feel even ten percent more confident heading into January.
Then finish it this week.
Celebrate in a way that would make kindergarten you proud.
Why This Works:
Your brain loves closure. Unfinished tasks pull at your attention like a toddler with sticky hands. Each one sends tiny stress signals that accumulate into self-doubt. When you complete even a single lingering task, your brain gets a quick hit of competence. That competence snowballs into motivation. You start telling yourself different stories. Not: “I’m behind.” Instead: “Look at me handling things like a person who has their life somewhat together.” That shift matters.
Mini Challenge:
Ask yourself: “Which unfinished thing would make January Me say thank you?”
Do that one.
Future you is already writing a heartfelt acceptance speech.
Bonus:
If you want to double your win: pair one external finish with one internal one.
Example: finish the email and also decide to stop stressing about the thing you cannot control. One completed action. One completed thought loop. Double confidence.
You do not need to finish the year perfectly.
You just need to finish one thing that reminds you who you are becoming.
Welcome to Better at Life, the weekly newsletter where I share one simple, actionable idea you can put into practice today to build better habits, sharpen your mindset, and live with more intention.
If you are anything like me, December arrives and suddenly your brain starts running a highlight reel of everything you didn’t do this year.
The unfinished goals.
The weird detours.
The moments you wish you could redo.
It is wild how fast reflection can turn into self-judgment.
So this week I tried something different. A softer way of looking back.
It changed everything and I think it will help you too.
Most year-end reviews feel like performance evaluations. Lots of pressure. Lots of comparisons.
But a Gentle Review works differently.
It trades judgment for curiosity. Instead of asking how well you performed, you ask what you learned, what surprised you, and what quietly grew in the background.
It is the difference between scoring your life and understanding it.
This Week’s Action: The Gentle Review
Set a 10-minute timer and answer these 3 prompts:
What went better than I expected.
What challenged me in ways that made me grow.
What mattered more than I realized at the time.
Keep your answers short. Bullet points are great. Do not edit yourself. This is a snapshot, not a final exam.
Why This Works:
Your nervous system relaxes when reflection feels safe. A Gentle Review helps you process the year without the pressure of perfection. It highlights hidden progress and resilience instead of only the loud successes. This shift in perspective gives you emotional clarity so you walk into the new year with confidence instead of tension.
Mini Challenge:
Share one answer from your Gentle Review with a friend or partner.
Something real but not heavy.
A little moment of growth.
Let someone else witness your year with you.
It builds connection and reminds you that you are not doing life alone.
Bonus:
If you want to go deeper, try this optional question:
What did I carry all year that I am finally ready to set down.
You might be surprised by what shows up.
Reflection is not about perfection.
It is about presence.
You made it through a whole year of being human and learning as you go. That is worth honoring.
Welcome to Better at Life, the weekly newsletter where I share one simple, actionable idea you can put into practice today to build better habits, sharpen your mindset, and live with more intention.
Hey friend. Quick story. Last week I caught myself doom-scrolling while eating lunch. My brain felt like a browser with 27 tabs open.
So I tried something weird. I asked myself one simple question. It snapped me out of autopilot and into intention.
Today’s issue is about that same tiny question and how it can help you too.
Now, most of us ask ourselves default questions every day.
Why am I behind.
Why can’t I focus.
Why is everyone else doing better.
These questions are like low battery notifications. They drain you without offering anything back. But one small upgrade can shift you from stuck to purposeful: Ask a better question.
This Week’s Action: The Better Question
Use this question once a day:
What would make this moment just a little better?
Not perfect. Not ideal. Just a little better. You can use it anytime.
Stressed before a meeting. Lost in your inbox. Feeling blah at 3 p.m. Half-watching Netflix while scrolling TikTok.
Ask it and take the smallest step you notice.
Why This Works:
Your brain loves small upgrades because they feel doable. This question interrupts stress, rumination, and autopilot. Instead of spiraling, you give your mind something constructive to chew on. Even tiny improvements create momentum. A glass of water. A two-minute walk. Closing three tabs. Breathing slower. Small shifts compound quickly.
Mini Challenge:
Try it five times this week.
Keep score on your notes app.
Every time you ask the question, just jot down the small thing you did.
You will see a pattern of micro-wins that add up.
Bonus:
Here are a few ways readers typically answer the question: • Step outside for sixty seconds • Put the phone in another room • Turn on one song that lifts your mood • Name the feeling instead of fighting it • Do the easiest task on your list
Your life is shaped less by giant decisions and more by the tiny questions you ask yourself every day.
Welcome to Better at Life, the weekly newsletter where I share one simple, actionable idea you can put into practice today to build better habits, sharpen your mindset, and live with more intention.
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone celebrating in the US this week.
And if you are elsewhere in the world, consider this your invitation to borrow a small ritual you can use at your next gathering with family or friends.
This time of year always reminds me how quickly life changes. My kids are growing up and building their own lives, which means our table looks a little different each season.
That shift makes me appreciate the small, shared moments even more.
So here is one tiny practice you can use today or save for your next get together.
Now, earlier this month, I caught myself looking around the dinner table and realizing how different it felt. One of my kids is grown and building their own routines now, with another to follow next year, which means they come and go in ways that still catch me off guard. It is a good thing. It is also an adjustment.
It made me think about how the moments we used to take for granted have quietly become the moments I pay the most attention to. Not the big plans or the perfect photos. The tiny stories that get retold. The memories that pop up out of nowhere. The shared laugh that reminds you you are still connected, even if life looks different than it used to.
That is what inspired this week’s ritual. A simple way to bring those moments to the surface at any table, with any group, anywhere.
This Week’s Action: The Memory Swap
Invite everyone at the table to share one favorite memory they have with the people present.
Keep it light and pressure-free.
It can be funny, small, unexpected, or heartfelt. A moment that turned into an inside joke. A trip. A tiny snapshot that stuck with them.
This works whether you are with family, friends, or the people who feel like both.
Why This Works:
Memories are emotional shortcuts.
They surface warmth and familiarity in seconds.
They shift the focus from the logistics of the day to the relationships that make it matter.
Even one shared story can change the tone of the whole gathering.
Mini Challenge:
If no one jumps in right away, go first. Make it simple and specific.
For example:
“One of my favorite memories is the year we tried to take a group photo and half of us blinked at the same time and it took us a dozen tries to get the pic.”
Your vulnerability opens the door for others.
Bonus Block
If the conversation flows, try a gentle follow-up:
“What memory do you hope we make next year?”
It blends reflection with hope and gives people something meaningful to carry forward.
You do not need a holiday to create connection.
A five-minute ritual can turn any meal into a memory people hold onto.
Welcome to Better at Life, the weekly newsletter where I share one simple, actionable idea you can put into practice today to build better habits, sharpen your mindset, and live with more intention.
You know that moment when you open your laptop and instantly feel your brain short-circuit?
Your inbox is full, your to-do list looks like a grocery receipt, and suddenly you’re cleaning your desk or checking Slack just to avoid deciding where to start.
That’s not laziness. It’s overwhelm.
And the fastest way out of it isn’t a color-coded plan or a productivity app. It’s one small, visible next step.
When everything feels big, you have to shrink the game.
This Week’s Action: The Next-Step Rule
The Next-Step Rule is simple:
Whenever you feel stuck, ask yourself, “What’s the next visible step I can take?”
Not the perfect step. Not the final one. Just the next one that moves things one inch forward.
Send the email. Outline the idea. Fill the water bottle. Start the draft.
You don’t need a map to take one step. You just need to move.
Here’s how it works:
Think of one project or goal that’s been stressing you out.
Write it at the top of a page.
Underneath, write this question: “What’s my next visible step?”
Do that one thing.
When it’s done, ask the same question again. Repeat until you’ve quietly built momentum where stress used to live.
Why This Works:
Overwhelm is usually a thinking problem, not a doing problem.
Your brain can’t process ten abstract goals at once, but it can handle one concrete action. The Next-Step Rule cuts through analysis paralysis by turning your focus from the impossible (everything) to the doable (something).
Each step gives your mind a quick reward loop: effort, progress, relief. And that relief fuels the next round of focus.
Mini Challenge:
Pick one thing you’ve been putting off for a week or more.
Ask, “What’s my next visible step?”
Do it today.
It can be as small as opening a document or sending a message.
Momentum starts smaller than you think.
Pro tip: If you feel resistance, lower the bar again. Ask, “What’s my next tiny step?” You’re building motion, not perfection.
You don’t need to finish the mountain. You just need to take one step up it.
Then another. And another.
Progress is rarely a leap. It’s a series of small visible steps.
Welcome to Better at Life, the weekly newsletter where I share one simple, actionable idea you can put into practice today to build better habits, sharpen your mindset, and live with more intention.
Ever notice how a simple task can turn into a full-blown mental wrestling match?
You sit down to “just get started,” then 40 minutes later you’ve answered three emails, opened Slack twice, and somehow found yourself reading an article about the world’s oldest cat.
That’s when you need a comeback move. A way to restart focus without overhauling your whole day.
Enter: the 25-minute comeback.
The Pomodoro Technique sounds fancy, but it’s really just this: pick one task, set a 25-minute timer, and do only that until it rings. Then rest for five minutes.
It’s not a productivity hack –> it’s a focus reset button.
It tricks your brain into starting by lowering the cost of entry. You don’t have to focus for hours. Just 25 minutes. Anyone can do that.
This Week’s Action: The 25-Minute Comeback
Pick one task you’ve been avoiding.
Set a timer for 25 minutes.
Start.
No playlists, no fancy apps. Just your attention and the clock.
When the timer rings, stop. Stand up. Celebrate the fact that you started. Then, if you’ve got momentum, go for another round.
Why This Works:
Your brain loves finite effort. The Pomodoro Technique leverages a psychological principle called the goal gradient effect: we push harder when the finish line is in sight.
25 minutes gives you that finish line right away. You get a quick win, a dopamine boost, and momentum to keep going.
In short: it’s not about working longer. It’s about working with your brain, not against it.
Mini Challenge:
Try three Pomodoros in one day.
That’s just 75 minutes of focused work.
Notice how much progress you make and how different it feels from three hours of half-distracted “work.”
If your anything like me you’ll get almost a days worth of work in that time span.
Pro tip: If you keep stopping mid-flow, make your timer visible. A countdown clock on your desk or screen adds a subtle pressure that keeps your mind from wandering.
You don’t need more discipline.
You just need better containers for your focus.
Start with 25 minutes. Let momentum handle the rest.
Welcome to Better at Life, the weekly newsletter where I share one simple, actionable idea you can put into practice today to build better habits, sharpen your mindset, and live with more intention.
I wanted to read more, but never had the time, until I moved my book to the chair where I drink my coffee.
That’s it. No 5 a.m. wake-up. No new habit tracker. I just put the book where I already sit every morning.
Next thing I knew, I was reading five pages without even trying. It didn’t take discipline. It took placement.
That’s the power of friction and why this week’s idea is so effective.
This Week’s Action: Do a Friction Audit
You don’t need more motivation. You need fewer obstacles.
A friction audit means looking at one habit you want to build — or break — and changing the environment around it to make that shift easier (or harder).
Try this:
Pick one good habit you want to do more of. Ask: → How could I make this faster, easier, or more obvious?
Pick one unhelpful habit you want to do less of. Ask: → How could I make this slower, harder, or less convenient?
Examples:
Put your running shoes by the door the night before.
Log out of the social app that eats your evenings.
Move your meditation cushion into the middle of your living room.
Unplug your TV during the week (yes, really).
You’re not broken. Your environment just needs a tweak.
Why This Works:
Behavior science shows that convenience beats discipline.
Small shifts in your surroundings either fuel your habits or fight them.
By removing friction from the good stuff and adding friction to the bad, you turn your environment into your accountability partner.on: you don’t need a holiday, fancy stationery, or perfect words. Just attention and intention.
Mini Challenge:
M
Pick one habit this week and change the friction around it.
Bonus points if it feels lazy, that means it’s working.
Habit Hack:
Want to read more? Put your book on your pillow.
Want to scroll less? Charge your phone in the kitchen.
You don’t need to try harder. You need to set up smarter.
Make the good thing easier. That’s how change sticks.
https://chrismullen.org/wp-content/uploads/Newsletter-Image-Number-Template-1.svg12001200Chris Mullenhttps://chrismullen.org/wp-content/uploads/Chris-Mullen-Logo.svgChris Mullen2025-11-02 08:14:002025-11-05 07:26:14🎯 Make good things easier
Welcome to Better at Life, the weekly newsletter where I share one simple, actionable idea you can put into practice today to build better habits, sharpen your mindset, and live with more intention.
Ever notice how easy it is to think “I really appreciate them”… and never actually say it? We assume people know we’re grateful, but they usually don’t.
The truth: appreciation only counts when it’s spoken or shown. Today’s issue is about the smallest, fastest way to do that.
The other week, a friend texted me out of the blue:
“Hey, just wanted to say, I always leave our calls feeling lighter. Thanks for that.”
It took him ten seconds. But I thought about that message for two days.
We think gratitude has to be big: handwritten notes, gifts, long speeches. But what if the most powerful kind of gratitude is quick, specific, and unexpected?
That’s the idea behind Micro-Thanks.
This Week’s Action: Micro-Thanks
Send one micro-thanks every day this week. Here’s the formula:
“Hey [Name], I really appreciate [specific thing they did]. It meant a lot because [reason].”
Examples:
“Hey Sam, thanks for sending that article. You always seem to share what I need to read.”
“Hey Taylor, I noticed how patient you were in the meeting today. That made things way less stressful.”
10 seconds. One sentence. Real impact.
Why This Works
Gratitude has a multiplier effect. When you express it in real time and with detail, it strengthens connection and boosts your own mood. You feel more connected and less isolated, and others feel seen and valued.
Micro-thanks work because they’re low friction: you don’t need a holiday, fancy stationery, or perfect words. Just attention and intention.
Mini Challenge:
1. Pick one person right now.
2. Send a text or voice note before you close this email.
3. See what happens when gratitude goes from thought to action.
Pro tip: Start a “Thanks I Sent” list. Write down who you’ve thanked and for what. It’s a quick way to notice how full your life actually is.
Welcome to Better at Life, the weekly newsletter where I share one simple, actionable idea you can put into practice today to build better habits, sharpen your mindset, and live with more intention.
Ever notice how every January feels like a self-improvement group project?
Everyone’s downloading habit apps, color-coding calendars, and pretending kale tastes good.
The problem: we try to do our way into change instead of becoming the person who naturally does the thing.
I’ve done it too.
I’ve tried to fix myself with new routines instead of asking who I actually want to be.
About five years ago, I decided I needed to “get back into shape.” So I joined a gym, bought a fancy water bottle, and spent most of my time pretending to stretch while watching people who actually knew what they were doing.
One day, a trainer asked if I wanted to join a lifting session. Without overthinking, I said, “Sure, I lift.”
That sentence changed everything.
I wasn’t just trying to work out anymore.
I was being the kind of person who lifts weights.
The more I acted like that person, the more it became true.
And now, for the last five years, I’ve lifted 5-6 times a week. I am a weight lifter.
This Week’s Action: Identity-First Habits
Pick one identity you want to strengthen but make sure it’s something simple and true to your values.
Instead of saying, “I want to read more,” say, “I’m a reader.”
Instead of “I should be healthier,” say, “I’m someone who takes care of my body.”
Then take one small action that proves it today.
Read one page.
Pack one lunch.
Go for one walk.
The action becomes evidence of the identity.
Why This Works
Your brain loves consistency. Once you label yourself, it starts searching for proof to make that label real. It’s why someone who identifies as “a night owl” somehow always finds energy at midnight.
James Clear nailed this in Atomic Habits. The most powerful way to change is to start with identity, not outcomes. He’s right. The label comes first, the habit follows.
Identity-first habits work because they flip the script. You’re not waiting to become a certain kind of person after success. You’re acting like them now, and your habits catch up.ct words. Just attention and intention.
Mini Challenge:
M
For the next 7 days, repeat this sentence each morning:
“I’m the kind of person who _______.”
Fill in the blank with your chosen identity.
Keep it small, doable, and specific.
Watch how fast your behavior starts to follow.
Need Inspiration?
“I’m the kind of person who moves daily.”
“I’m the kind of person who finishes what I start.”
“I’m the kind of person who leaves things better than I found them.”
Change isn’t about doing more.
It’s about becoming more you.
The best habits aren’t forced.
They’re expressions of who you already are, or who you’re brave enough to start being.
https://chrismullen.org/wp-content/uploads/05-3.svg12001200Chris Mullenhttps://chrismullen.org/wp-content/uploads/Chris-Mullen-Logo.svgChris Mullen2025-10-19 07:15:002025-11-05 07:46:44🎯 Stop trying to “fix” yourself. Start being the person who already does the thing
Welcome to Better at Life, the weekly newsletter where I share one simple, actionable idea you can put into practice today to build better habits, sharpen your mindset, and live with more intention.
After a tight work deadline, I celebrated by… refreshing my inbox like a maniac.
Not with a walk. Not with a nap. Not even a snack. I just kept refreshing, like stress was hiding in the next email.
The deadline was done. The pressure was off. But my body? Still acting like it was in a race.
That’s the hidden cost of modern stress — we think we’re finished, but we forget to feel finished.
And that’s what this week’s idea is all about.
This Week’s Action: Close the Stress Loop
Your brain and body treat stress like a survival situation.
You can mentally solve the “threat” (the email, the argument, the decision), but your body still needs a physical cue to close the stress cycle.
According to Drs. Emily and Amelia Nagoski, there’s a biological “stress loop” that needs to be completed for you to feel okay again.
And the good news is: it’s simple.
Here are some proven ways to close the loop:
20–30 minutes of movement (walk, stretch, dance badly in your kitchen)
Deep breathing: in for 4, out for 6, for 2–5 minutes
Crying, laughing, or even a bear hug from someone safe
You don’t have to fix your life.
You just need to let your body feel safe again.
Why This Works:
Stress isn’t just in your mind. It’s chemical. It lives in your nervous system.
Closing the loop tells your body, “Hey, the threat is over — you can stand down.”
This is how you stop dragging yesterday’s tension into today.
Mini Challenge:
Pick one way to close a stress loop today, even if you don’t feel “that stressed.”
Notice how your body feels afterward. Lighter? Looser? More human?
Quick Win Tip: Try “box breathing”
For 1–2 minutes: inhale 4 seconds, hold 4, exhale 4, hold 4
Perfect for mid-meeting freakouts.
You don’t have to earn rest by collapsing.
You can actively choose to complete the cycle and feel better faster.
https://chrismullen.org/wp-content/uploads/Newsletter-04.svg2259Chris Mullenhttps://chrismullen.org/wp-content/uploads/Chris-Mullen-Logo.svgChris Mullen2025-10-12 06:00:002025-12-06 10:31:53🎯 Still stressed even after the problem?
🎯The Year-End Win
Better at Life NewsletterRead time: 3.4 minutes
Welcome to Better at Life, the weekly newsletter where I share one simple, actionable idea you can put into practice today to build better habits, sharpen your mindset, and live with more intention.
Every December, I convince myself that Future Me will magically appear and finish everything I avoided all year.
Future Me never shows up.
Present Me, however, is very available and slightly annoyed.
So this week, I tried a different experiment: finish one thing.
Not everything.
Not a big thing.
Just one thing I kept tripping over mentally.
What surprised me is how quickly one tiny finish changed my entire mood.
It made me feel capable again.
That is the energy I want for you.
There is a special kind of confidence that comes from completing something you’ve been quietly dodging.
It does not matter if the thing is glamorous.
Sometimes it is the awkward email, the small decision, or the task that has been squatting in your brain like it owns the place. When you finish one of those, your nervous system stands up a little straighter.
You remember you can do hard things.
Your brain starts trusting you again.
This Week’s Action: The Year-End Win
Choose one thing you can finish before the year ends.
Not a whole project. Not a reinvention. Just one item that meets two criteria:
Then finish it this week.
Celebrate in a way that would make kindergarten you proud.
Why This Works:
Your brain loves closure. Unfinished tasks pull at your attention like a toddler with sticky hands. Each one sends tiny stress signals that accumulate into self-doubt. When you complete even a single lingering task, your brain gets a quick hit of competence. That competence snowballs into motivation. You start telling yourself different stories. Not: “I’m behind.” Instead: “Look at me handling things like a person who has their life somewhat together.” That shift matters.
Mini Challenge:
Ask yourself: “Which unfinished thing would make January Me say thank you?”
Do that one.
Future you is already writing a heartfelt acceptance speech.
Bonus:
If you want to double your win: pair one external finish with one internal one.
Example: finish the email and also decide to stop stressing about the thing you cannot control. One completed action. One completed thought loop. Double confidence.
You do not need to finish the year perfectly.
You just need to finish one thing that reminds you who you are becoming.
Confidence grows fastest in small, honest wins.
See you next week — a little better at life.
🎯 The Gentle Review
Better at Life NewsletterRead time: 3.2 minutes
Welcome to Better at Life, the weekly newsletter where I share one simple, actionable idea you can put into practice today to build better habits, sharpen your mindset, and live with more intention.
If you are anything like me, December arrives and suddenly your brain starts running a highlight reel of everything you didn’t do this year.
The unfinished goals.
The weird detours.
The moments you wish you could redo.
It is wild how fast reflection can turn into self-judgment.
So this week I tried something different. A softer way of looking back.
It changed everything and I think it will help you too.
Most year-end reviews feel like performance evaluations. Lots of pressure. Lots of comparisons.
But a Gentle Review works differently.
It trades judgment for curiosity. Instead of asking how well you performed, you ask what you learned, what surprised you, and what quietly grew in the background.
It is the difference between scoring your life and understanding it.
This Week’s Action: The Gentle Review
Set a 10-minute timer and answer these 3 prompts:
Keep your answers short. Bullet points are great. Do not edit yourself. This is a snapshot, not a final exam.
Why This Works:
Your nervous system relaxes when reflection feels safe. A Gentle Review helps you process the year without the pressure of perfection. It highlights hidden progress and resilience instead of only the loud successes. This shift in perspective gives you emotional clarity so you walk into the new year with confidence instead of tension.
Mini Challenge:
Share one answer from your Gentle Review with a friend or partner.
Something real but not heavy.
A little moment of growth.
Let someone else witness your year with you.
It builds connection and reminds you that you are not doing life alone.
Bonus:
If you want to go deeper, try this optional question:
What did I carry all year that I am finally ready to set down.
You might be surprised by what shows up.
Reflection is not about perfection.
It is about presence.
You made it through a whole year of being human and learning as you go. That is worth honoring.
See you next week — a little better at life.
🎯 The Better Question
Better at Life NewsletterRead time: 3.1 minutes
Welcome to Better at Life, the weekly newsletter where I share one simple, actionable idea you can put into practice today to build better habits, sharpen your mindset, and live with more intention.
Hey friend. Quick story. Last week I caught myself doom-scrolling while eating lunch. My brain felt like a browser with 27 tabs open.
So I tried something weird. I asked myself one simple question. It snapped me out of autopilot and into intention.
Today’s issue is about that same tiny question and how it can help you too.
Now, most of us ask ourselves default questions every day.
Why am I behind.
Why can’t I focus.
Why is everyone else doing better.
These questions are like low battery notifications. They drain you without offering anything back. But one small upgrade can shift you from stuck to purposeful: Ask a better question.
This Week’s Action: The Better Question
Use this question once a day:
What would make this moment just a little better?
Not perfect. Not ideal. Just a little better.
You can use it anytime.
Stressed before a meeting. Lost in your inbox. Feeling blah at 3 p.m. Half-watching Netflix while scrolling TikTok.
Ask it and take the smallest step you notice.
Why This Works:
Your brain loves small upgrades because they feel doable. This question interrupts stress, rumination, and autopilot. Instead of spiraling, you give your mind something constructive to chew on. Even tiny improvements create momentum. A glass of water. A two-minute walk. Closing three tabs. Breathing slower. Small shifts compound quickly.
Mini Challenge:
Try it five times this week.
Keep score on your notes app.
Every time you ask the question, just jot down the small thing you did.
You will see a pattern of micro-wins that add up.
Bonus:
Here are a few ways readers typically answer the question:
• Step outside for sixty seconds
• Put the phone in another room
• Turn on one song that lifts your mood
• Name the feeling instead of fighting it
• Do the easiest task on your list
Your life is shaped less by giant decisions and more by the tiny questions you ask yourself every day.
Ask a better one.
Your future self will thank you.
See you next week — a little better at life.
🎯 The Memory Swap
Better at Life NewsletterRead time: 3.6 minutes
Welcome to Better at Life, the weekly newsletter where I share one simple, actionable idea you can put into practice today to build better habits, sharpen your mindset, and live with more intention.
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone celebrating in the US this week.
And if you are elsewhere in the world, consider this your invitation to borrow a small ritual you can use at your next gathering with family or friends.
This time of year always reminds me how quickly life changes. My kids are growing up and building their own lives, which means our table looks a little different each season.
That shift makes me appreciate the small, shared moments even more.
So here is one tiny practice you can use today or save for your next get together.
Now, earlier this month, I caught myself looking around the dinner table and realizing how different it felt. One of my kids is grown and building their own routines now, with another to follow next year, which means they come and go in ways that still catch me off guard. It is a good thing. It is also an adjustment.
It made me think about how the moments we used to take for granted have quietly become the moments I pay the most attention to. Not the big plans or the perfect photos. The tiny stories that get retold. The memories that pop up out of nowhere. The shared laugh that reminds you you are still connected, even if life looks different than it used to.
That is what inspired this week’s ritual. A simple way to bring those moments to the surface at any table, with any group, anywhere.
This Week’s Action: The Memory Swap
Invite everyone at the table to share one favorite memory they have with the people present.
Keep it light and pressure-free.
It can be funny, small, unexpected, or heartfelt. A moment that turned into an inside joke. A trip. A tiny snapshot that stuck with them.
This works whether you are with family, friends, or the people who feel like both.
Why This Works:
Memories are emotional shortcuts.
They surface warmth and familiarity in seconds.
They shift the focus from the logistics of the day to the relationships that make it matter.
Even one shared story can change the tone of the whole gathering.
Mini Challenge:
If no one jumps in right away, go first. Make it simple and specific.
For example:
“One of my favorite memories is the year we tried to take a group photo and half of us blinked at the same time and it took us a dozen tries to get the pic.”
Your vulnerability opens the door for others.
Bonus Block
If the conversation flows, try a gentle follow-up:
“What memory do you hope we make next year?”
It blends reflection with hope and gives people something meaningful to carry forward.
You do not need a holiday to create connection.
A five-minute ritual can turn any meal into a memory people hold onto.
See you next week — a little better at life.
🎯 The Next-Step Rule
Better at Life NewsletterRead time: 3.1 minutes
Welcome to Better at Life, the weekly newsletter where I share one simple, actionable idea you can put into practice today to build better habits, sharpen your mindset, and live with more intention.
You know that moment when you open your laptop and instantly feel your brain short-circuit?
Your inbox is full, your to-do list looks like a grocery receipt, and suddenly you’re cleaning your desk or checking Slack just to avoid deciding where to start.
That’s not laziness. It’s overwhelm.
And the fastest way out of it isn’t a color-coded plan or a productivity app. It’s one small, visible next step.
When everything feels big, you have to shrink the game.
This Week’s Action: The Next-Step Rule
The Next-Step Rule is simple:
Whenever you feel stuck, ask yourself, “What’s the next visible step I can take?”
Not the perfect step. Not the final one. Just the next one that moves things one inch forward.
Send the email. Outline the idea. Fill the water bottle. Start the draft.
You don’t need a map to take one step. You just need to move.
Here’s how it works:
When it’s done, ask the same question again. Repeat until you’ve quietly built momentum where stress used to live.
Why This Works:
Overwhelm is usually a thinking problem, not a doing problem.
Your brain can’t process ten abstract goals at once, but it can handle one concrete action. The Next-Step Rule cuts through analysis paralysis by turning your focus from the impossible (everything) to the doable (something).
Each step gives your mind a quick reward loop: effort, progress, relief. And that relief fuels the next round of focus.
Mini Challenge:
Pick one thing you’ve been putting off for a week or more.
Ask, “What’s my next visible step?”
Do it today.
It can be as small as opening a document or sending a message.
Momentum starts smaller than you think.
Pro tip: If you feel resistance, lower the bar again. Ask, “What’s my next tiny step?” You’re building motion, not perfection.
You don’t need to finish the mountain. You just need to take one step up it.
Then another. And another.
Progress is rarely a leap. It’s a series of small visible steps.
See you next week — a little better at life.
🎯 The 25-Minute Comeback
Better at Life NewsletterRead time: 3.2 minutes
Welcome to Better at Life, the weekly newsletter where I share one simple, actionable idea you can put into practice today to build better habits, sharpen your mindset, and live with more intention.
Ever notice how a simple task can turn into a full-blown mental wrestling match?
You sit down to “just get started,” then 40 minutes later you’ve answered three emails, opened Slack twice, and somehow found yourself reading an article about the world’s oldest cat.
That’s when you need a comeback move. A way to restart focus without overhauling your whole day.
Enter: the 25-minute comeback.
The Pomodoro Technique sounds fancy, but it’s really just this: pick one task, set a 25-minute timer, and do only that until it rings. Then rest for five minutes.
It’s not a productivity hack –> it’s a focus reset button.
It tricks your brain into starting by lowering the cost of entry. You don’t have to focus for hours. Just 25 minutes. Anyone can do that.
This Week’s Action: The 25-Minute Comeback
Pick one task you’ve been avoiding.
Set a timer for 25 minutes.
Start.
No playlists, no fancy apps. Just your attention and the clock.
When the timer rings, stop. Stand up. Celebrate the fact that you started. Then, if you’ve got momentum, go for another round.
Why This Works:
Your brain loves finite effort. The Pomodoro Technique leverages a psychological principle called the goal gradient effect: we push harder when the finish line is in sight.
25 minutes gives you that finish line right away. You get a quick win, a dopamine boost, and momentum to keep going.
In short: it’s not about working longer. It’s about working with your brain, not against it.
Mini Challenge:
Try three Pomodoros in one day.
That’s just 75 minutes of focused work.
Notice how much progress you make and how different it feels from three hours of half-distracted “work.”
If your anything like me you’ll get almost a days worth of work in that time span.
Pro tip: If you keep stopping mid-flow, make your timer visible. A countdown clock on your desk or screen adds a subtle pressure that keeps your mind from wandering.
You don’t need more discipline.
You just need better containers for your focus.
Start with 25 minutes. Let momentum handle the rest.
See you next week — a little better at life.
🎯 Make good things easier
Better at Life NewsletterRead time: 2.9 minutes
Welcome to Better at Life, the weekly newsletter where I share one simple, actionable idea you can put into practice today to build better habits, sharpen your mindset, and live with more intention.
I wanted to read more, but never had the time, until I moved my book to the chair where I drink my coffee.
That’s it. No 5 a.m. wake-up. No new habit tracker.
I just put the book where I already sit every morning.
Next thing I knew, I was reading five pages without even trying.
It didn’t take discipline. It took placement.
That’s the power of friction and why this week’s idea is so effective.
This Week’s Action: Do a Friction Audit
You don’t need more motivation. You need fewer obstacles.
A friction audit means looking at one habit you want to build — or break — and changing the environment around it to make that shift easier (or harder).
Try this:
→ How could I make this faster, easier, or more obvious?
→ How could I make this slower, harder, or less convenient?
Examples:
You’re not broken. Your environment just needs a tweak.
Why This Works:
Behavior science shows that convenience beats discipline.
Small shifts in your surroundings either fuel your habits or fight them.
By removing friction from the good stuff and adding friction to the bad, you turn your environment into your accountability partner.on: you don’t need a holiday, fancy stationery, or perfect words. Just attention and intention.
Mini Challenge:
M
Pick one habit this week and change the friction around it.
Bonus points if it feels lazy, that means it’s working.
Habit Hack:
Want to read more? Put your book on your pillow.
Want to scroll less? Charge your phone in the kitchen.
You don’t need to try harder. You need to set up smarter.
Make the good thing easier. That’s how change sticks.
See you next week — a little better at life.
🎯 The 10-Second Gratitude Habit That Changes Everything
Better at Life NewsletterRead time: 3.1 minutes
Welcome to Better at Life, the weekly newsletter where I share one simple, actionable idea you can put into practice today to build better habits, sharpen your mindset, and live with more intention.
Ever notice how easy it is to think “I really appreciate them”… and never actually say it? We assume people know we’re grateful, but they usually don’t.
The truth: appreciation only counts when it’s spoken or shown. Today’s issue is about the smallest, fastest way to do that.
The other week, a friend texted me out of the blue:
It took him ten seconds. But I thought about that message for two days.
We think gratitude has to be big: handwritten notes, gifts, long speeches. But what if the most powerful kind of gratitude is quick, specific, and unexpected?
That’s the idea behind Micro-Thanks.
This Week’s Action: Micro-Thanks
Send one micro-thanks every day this week.
Here’s the formula:
Examples:
10 seconds. One sentence. Real impact.
Why This Works
Gratitude has a multiplier effect. When you express it in real time and with detail, it strengthens connection and boosts your own mood. You feel more connected and less isolated, and others feel seen and valued.
Micro-thanks work because they’re low friction: you don’t need a holiday, fancy stationery, or perfect words. Just attention and intention.
Mini Challenge:
1. Pick one person right now.
2. Send a text or voice note before you close this email.
3. See what happens when gratitude goes from thought to action.
Pro tip: Start a “Thanks I Sent” list.
Write down who you’ve thanked and for what. It’s a quick way to notice how full your life actually is.
Small appreciation beats big intentions.
Don’t wait for perfect words.
Say thank you now, imperfectly.
See you next week — a little better at life.
🎯 Stop trying to “fix” yourself. Start being the person who already does the thing
Better at Life NewsletterRead time: 4.1 minutes
Welcome to Better at Life, the weekly newsletter where I share one simple, actionable idea you can put into practice today to build better habits, sharpen your mindset, and live with more intention.
Ever notice how every January feels like a self-improvement group project?
Everyone’s downloading habit apps, color-coding calendars, and pretending kale tastes good.
The problem: we try to do our way into change instead of becoming the person who naturally does the thing.
I’ve done it too.
I’ve tried to fix myself with new routines instead of asking who I actually want to be.
About five years ago, I decided I needed to “get back into shape.” So I joined a gym, bought a fancy water bottle, and spent most of my time pretending to stretch while watching people who actually knew what they were doing.
One day, a trainer asked if I wanted to join a lifting session. Without overthinking, I said, “Sure, I lift.”
That sentence changed everything.
I wasn’t just trying to work out anymore.
I was being the kind of person who lifts weights.
The more I acted like that person, the more it became true.
And now, for the last five years, I’ve lifted 5-6 times a week. I am a weight lifter.
This Week’s Action: Identity-First Habits
Pick one identity you want to strengthen but make sure it’s something simple and true to your values.
Instead of saying, “I want to read more,” say, “I’m a reader.”
Instead of “I should be healthier,” say, “I’m someone who takes care of my body.”
Then take one small action that proves it today.
Read one page.
Pack one lunch.
Go for one walk.
The action becomes evidence of the identity.
Why This Works
Your brain loves consistency. Once you label yourself, it starts searching for proof to make that label real. It’s why someone who identifies as “a night owl” somehow always finds energy at midnight.
James Clear nailed this in Atomic Habits. The most powerful way to change is to start with identity, not outcomes. He’s right. The label comes first, the habit follows.
Identity-first habits work because they flip the script. You’re not waiting to become a certain kind of person after success. You’re acting like them now, and your habits catch up.ct words. Just attention and intention.
Mini Challenge:
M
For the next 7 days, repeat this sentence each morning:
“I’m the kind of person who _______.”
Fill in the blank with your chosen identity.
Keep it small, doable, and specific.
Watch how fast your behavior starts to follow.
Need Inspiration?
Change isn’t about doing more.
It’s about becoming more you.
The best habits aren’t forced.
They’re expressions of who you already are, or who you’re brave enough to start being.
See you next week — a little better at life.
🎯 Still stressed even after the problem?
Better at Life NewsletterRead time: 3.3 minutes
Welcome to Better at Life, the weekly newsletter where I share one simple, actionable idea you can put into practice today to build better habits, sharpen your mindset, and live with more intention.
After a tight work deadline, I celebrated by… refreshing my inbox like a maniac.
Not with a walk. Not with a nap. Not even a snack.
I just kept refreshing, like stress was hiding in the next email.
The deadline was done. The pressure was off.
But my body? Still acting like it was in a race.
That’s the hidden cost of modern stress — we think we’re finished, but we forget to feel finished.
And that’s what this week’s idea is all about.
This Week’s Action: Close the Stress Loop
Your brain and body treat stress like a survival situation.
You can mentally solve the “threat” (the email, the argument, the decision), but your body still needs a physical cue to close the stress cycle.
According to Drs. Emily and Amelia Nagoski, there’s a biological “stress loop” that needs to be completed for you to feel okay again.
And the good news is: it’s simple.
Here are some proven ways to close the loop:
You don’t have to fix your life.
You just need to let your body feel safe again.
Why This Works:
Stress isn’t just in your mind. It’s chemical. It lives in your nervous system.
Closing the loop tells your body, “Hey, the threat is over — you can stand down.”
This is how you stop dragging yesterday’s tension into today.
Mini Challenge:
Pick one way to close a stress loop today, even if you don’t feel “that stressed.”
Notice how your body feels afterward. Lighter? Looser? More human?
Quick Win Tip: Try “box breathing”
For 1–2 minutes: inhale 4 seconds, hold 4, exhale 4, hold 4
Perfect for mid-meeting freakouts.
You don’t have to earn rest by collapsing.
You can actively choose to complete the cycle and feel better faster.
See you next week — a little better at life.