🎯 The Trust Account
Trust is built in small deposits long before you need to make a withdrawal.
Read time: 3.1 minutes
Welcome to Better at Life, the weekly newsletter where I share one simple, actionable idea you can put into practice today to build better habits, sharpen your mindset, and live with more intention.
We tend to notice trust when something goes wrong.
Someone misses a deadline. A friend lets us down. A leader makes a decision we don’t understand. A difficult conversation doesn’t go particularly well.
But the way we respond to those moments usually has less to do with that single interaction than we realize.
Imagine two people make the exact same mistake.
The first person has consistently followed through, communicated honestly, admitted mistakes, and shown up when it mattered. You’re probably willing to give them the benefit of the doubt.
The second person has a history of broken promises, vague communication, and excuses.
Same mistake. Completely different reaction.
The difference is what happened before the mistake.
I think of this as The Trust Account.
Every relationship has one, and every interaction either makes a small deposit or a small withdrawal.
Keeping your word is a deposit. Admitting when you’re wrong is a deposit. Giving someone credit, telling the truth when it’s uncomfortable, and following through when nobody is checking are deposits too.
The individual moments may seem insignificant.
Over time, they add up.
Write this down:
Trust is built in small moments and spent in big ones.
This Week’s Action
Pick one relationship that matters to you. It could be with your spouse, a friend, a colleague, someone you lead, or even your child.
Then do a quick Trust Account Audit.
Ask yourself:
Deposits: What am I doing that strengthens trust?
Withdrawals: What am I doing that quietly weakens it?
Balance: If I needed the benefit of the doubt tomorrow, have I earned it?
That last question is worth sitting with.
We often think about whether we trust other people. It’s less common to ask whether our own behavior makes us easy to trust.
If You Lead Others
Trust becomes especially important when you’re responsible for other people.
There will eventually be a difficult decision, an unpopular change, a missed target, or a moment when you simply get something wrong. In those situations, you may need people to give you the benefit of the doubt.
You can’t suddenly ask for trust because the moment requires it.
The account was funded months or years earlier through the ordinary stuff: keeping commitments, sharing context, admitting mistakes, listening when someone disagrees, giving credit, and making fair decisions even when they’re inconvenient.
You can’t make a large withdrawal from a trust account you’ve never funded.
Why This Works
Last week, The Second Conversation explored the stories we create when information is missing.
Trust influences those stories.
When trust is high, an unanswered message might make us think, “They’re probably busy. They’ll get back to me.”
When trust is low, the same unanswered message can become, “Here we go again.”
Trust doesn’t eliminate mistakes or misunderstandings. It changes how much generosity exists when they happen.
That’s why the small moments matter so much.
Try This
For the next week, stop thinking about trust as something you either have or don’t have. Think about it as something you’re constantly building.
Before making a promise, make sure you can keep it. If you make a mistake, own it quickly. If you appreciate something someone did, tell them.
None of these actions are dramatic.
That’s the point.
Trust is mostly built when nothing dramatic is happening.
Weekly Reflection
Before you move on from this email, pause for a moment and ask yourself:
Where have I built strong trust?
Where have I made more withdrawals than deposits?
What small deposit could I make this week?
And perhaps most importantly:
Am I behaving like someone I would trust?
Write it down, then make one deposit this week.
If this idea feels useful, feel free to pass it along to someone who might need it.
Strong relationships aren’t built in the moments when trust is needed most. They’re built in all the ordinary moments that came before.
See you next week — a little better at life.
______
Dr. Chris Mullen
Bring Better at Life to Your Organization
If these ideas resonate, this is also the work I bring into organizations and leadership teams.
I partner with organizations that want clearer thinking, stronger decision-making, and more sustainable performance.
Engagements typically include:
- Keynote speaking for conferences and leadership events
- Leadership development workshops for teams and managers
- Team strategy sessions focused on alignment and execution
For senior leaders seeking deeper application, I also maintain a small executive coaching practice.
